The Fault in my reality

256 4 6

I looked up from the note written by Augustus. I felt the tears pooling behind my eyes. My eyes drifted from my laptop to the fading afternoon. I pushed the laptop from my legs and stood up, pulling my portable air tank with me. I walked to my window, moving the black curtain away from the glass.

I watched the kids playing on scooters and bikes. How strange it seems to me, why would anyone wanna play with metal objects on wheels? I questioned myself as I turned away from the glass separating me from the outside world. The drapes falling back into place.

I replied to the email with his letter attached it.

"Yeah, my home address is still the same."

"thanks for sending me this. I appreciate this so much."

I shut the laptop and rolled my portable air tank to the living room where my mom was studying and my dad was at work.

I sat next to my mom and laid my head on her shoulder. She looked up from her laptop and sadly smiled at me before wrapping her arm around my shoulders. She patted my head before looking back at her blue and black laptop. I watched ANTM for awhile, I walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer and grabbed a whole bunch of red, black, and grey paper and walked to my room, humming a song I knew for a long while.

Making flowers out of paper as darkness takes the afternoon, I know they won't last Forever but real ones fade away too soon.

I sat at the edge on my bed, Remembering the story I read when I was younger about a girl who made a thousand paper cranes and as she finished her last Paper crane she died. I wish Augustus was here. I really do.

I laid down. I remembered why I never wanted to entwine my life with anyone, I wanted to leave a lesser scar, the "memory" of me is really just another scar for the world to bear ( negative thinking, another side affect of death)

I now remembered that depression is a side affect of dying. I let the unshed tears from earlier stream down my face and drop on my jeans. I saw pictures of Augustus smiling and laughing run through my mind. I felt the tears running faster down my cheeks.

I heard running water I assumed mom was making dinner, I whipped my cheeks and walked to the bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face and plastered on a small smile before walking out to the corridor.

I looked into the kitchen to see mom happily cooking dinner and singing in the kitchen. I kinda smiled. I pulled my air tank into the kitchen and sat at the worn down wooden table. I took a deep breath through my nose. It seems like never enough oxygen.

I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. I ignored the pain and just pretended like I was ok for her.

"hey hazel, are you ok honey?" my mom asked as she padded around in the kitchen, grabbing spices and seasonings from the ingredient cabinets.

"I'm just a bit tired...." I stopped, she knew that I was sad. I had my eyes follow her around the kitchen. She looked at me with understanding in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

" I'm making spaghetti, would you like some garlic bread with it?" mom asked. I nodded in response. She smiled and kissed the top of my head before going back to putting stuff on the homemade garlic bread.

The phone started ringing so I got up to answer the phone. It was Gus's parents.

"hello?" I asked in a sweet tone

" hey hazel, we just called to see how you are doing, I know it's been hard on you, I wish we could help." Gus's mom sounding a bit gloomy.

"maybe you could join us for dinner, company would be nice around here for a change." I felt a bit happier knowing someone can relate.

" that would be amazing, we'll be over in around ten minutes." she sounded a lot happier.

"take your time, no rush" I smiled into the phone Before hanging up and putting the phone back on the retriever.

I smiled and walked back to the kitchen and planted myself back down where I was sitting before.

" mom I invited Gus's parents over for dinner." I filled her in on it before they showed up.

"that is very nice of you to do hazel." she smiled and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her and snuggled into her before going to brush my tangled hair.

I set the table, it was kinda hard having to pull the air tank with me, maneuvering around the dinning room table. I readjusted my cannula tubes and pulled my air tank to my room where I made myself look presentable

I looked in the mirror and remembered what Augustus said " I'm on rollercoaster That only goes up, Hazel Grace and Im taking you with me." Augustus, I think you took that rollercoaster too far up, I wish you would come back down.

I pushed away the stray tears that leaked down my face. I heard a car pull into our drive way. I pushed out of my room and closed the door. I hurried to the front door and got there just in time for them to knock.

I opened the door almost too quick. I smiled, happy to see familiar family.

"Hello." Gus's mom said with a polite smile. I replied with a simple hey. I lead Gus's Parents to the dinning room and let them choose where they sat. It was the usual my dad and his dad is across from him. his mom and my mom across from her. the only thing thats different is the empty chair across from where Augutus used to be.

I ate a few bites before excusing myself from the table. I cant do this. It hurts too much. I locked myself in my room, I grabbed my laptop and slid my fingers on the touch apd until the screen lit up.

On the screen was the note Augustus wrote. I do, Augstus I do. The last words he had ever wrote.



It took me so long to write this because I cried so much.

I love you all <3 Stay stay strong and fangirl/boy on <3 The song next to the chapter is called Cancer by MCR.

The Fault in my realityRead this story for FREE!