Total Black out

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*Part 16*

            The girls are very happy that it is now Christmas break and we no longer have school until 2011. It makes me happy too that this year will be a new fresh start, if only I could get the courage to leave Zayn. Honestly I feel like he would flip out on me you know like... hurt me even more than just grabbing my arm. If he stays longer than a few days we are really going to have some problems because I do not feel safe or happy at all with him here. It’s really depressing that I can’t feel safe in my own house. If it were Harry and I it would be totally different. I’d be jumping for joy at the fact that he’s down the hall all day long.

            My sister has a friend over and I wanted to be a good sister and have some fun with them. I had an idea of making hot chocolate and make little paper snowflakes, so I set up everything while the kids are playing outside. When they came in they were cold so the hot chocolate warmed them up quickly, I set them up the do some arts and crafts. They were talking quietly to each other.

“Ariana your brother is so nice.”

            My head snapped up to look at my sister and her friend. I do not look like a boy! In the next room I hear Zayn and my mom laughing, it’s not true! Just because I’m wearing basketball shorts and a baggy T-shirt doesn’t mean I look like a boy.

“SHES NOT A BOY! THAT’S MY SISTER!!” my sister snapped

            At least she defended me, thank you Ariana.  I roll my eyes and go into the bathroom I lock the door and sit on the floor. None of those people in my living room deserve to see me cry, fuck that. The warm tears fall down my cheeks and I can’t even stand up, I grab my razor and lift the few bracelets I was wearing I cut…and cut… and fall to my knees. I bite my cheek so I don’t yell or cry to loud. Fuck them fuck me fuck everyone… no one gives two shits about me I can’t take it anymore.


            As the mouths went on nothing really changed…I wish I could say it had but still nothing. Zayn went back to living with his family after about a week of living with me. I’m off of school today so my mom asked me to go pick my sister up from school. So here I am wait for my sister to run out of her classroom, I look to my left and see Harry. My heart starts to race…he looks back and me and nearly stops in his tracks. I flash him a smile and take a step to him but his friends come along and he walks away with them. I drop my head and force my tears back into my eyes…I could have been in his arms just now I look back up.

“Harry.” I say lightly…

            Nothing nothing at all… he walked him his little brother home… how could I have been so stupid. My sister come out and find me, I rush them home because its freezing out and I just want to lock myself in my room and cry. We get home and I don’t talk I just run down the stairs to my room. I close my door and I don’t even notice Zayn in the corner of my room folding his clothes.

“Zayn?” I reopen my door.

“Who were you expecting?” he questions sternly

“No one.” I rub under my eyes to stop my tears.

“Mmhhmm sure… no one.”

“Zayn why are you mad now I’m sick of all the fighting.” I snap as I throw my jacket on my bed.

            He tightly grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. I looked down at the floor and I could hear him breathing angrily at me. The tears began to flood I knew what was coming… he forced my face up so I looked at him.

“Look Mackenzie you can’t be parading around like a god okay you do what I say I don’t want anyone looking or thinking of you like your some dumb slut.”

            That blew my mind how dare his. That was my last straw and he broke it, before I could think my hand flew up and ran across his face. Without a second to move away his fist hit me across the face, I hit my head on my bed frame as I fell and hit the floor. My world went black…

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