Chapter 20 :
I was laying next to Michael on my bed. We weren't close, and as a matter of fact, our arms weren't even touching. We were just staring at the ceiling, not really talking about anything important.
"Do you think I'll ever make it into the music career?" I asked softly, cutting the silence as if my voice was a sharp knife.
Michael looked at me, and scooted closer. I could tell he didn't mean for me to see him scoot closer, but I did.
"I'm sure you will, if that's what you really want to do." He said, not breaking eye contact with me.
I gave him a small smile, but then it faltered, "I don't know how to start it though, my career I mean."
"Just wait, it'll come to you. I can tell you have amazing things planned for you Steph." I felt my stomach do a tiny flip. Michael hadn't ever called me Steph before. I knew it wasn't much of a nickname, and he was bound to call me it someday, but still, the feeling of him calling me Steph was amazing.
Michael and I sat there, staring at each other. Michael's face inched closer, and I noticed his eyes start flickering closed. Holy shit, was he going to kiss me?!
I froze, not knowing what to do. Michael's face was almost touching mine, when all of a sudden his head snapped back. He jolted up from my bed and seemed jittery.
"Fuck, I wasn't going to kiss you. I know it looked like it, I actually probably was, but I didn't mean it. Shit sorry, my hormones got the best of me in that moment, sorry." Michael rambled out, running his hands through his hair as his face was filled with self-annoyance.
"It's really okay Michael." I laughed, getting up and laying my arm on his shoulder. I felt him twitch slightly beneath my touch, "I know you didn't mean it."
"Good, sorry, once again."
"Stop apologizing you weirdo!" I laughed, then sat back down on my bed.
So he was going to kiss me, but he didn't mean to. That was a relief.
Thank God I didn't actually kiss her, I wish I would have, but I didn't. It would've ruined everything. For starters, Stephanie and I's relationship, then Calum and I's relationship. Imagine if I had kissed his girlfriend, oh he would've been fuming.
"Stephanie! It's time for dinner! Tell Michael goodbye!" I heard Stephanie's dad yell from downstairs, and she glanced at me with a sorry expression.
"Well, guess I'll be going. See you Saturday?" I said, opening her bedroom door.
"Saturday." She confirmed.
And with that, I was on my way back home.
I grabbed my plate of lasagna, and sat down at the kitchen table where my family already was. My seat was next to Clara, Liam directly across from me, and Liam was next to Meghan. Our parents were on the ends of the table.
"So you have a new friend, Michael was it?" My mom asked, looking at me with a serious expression.
"I don't think I like him very much. He doesn't look like he'd be a good influence. Black stripe in his hair, earrings, and torn up clothes. That's not someone my daughter should be hanging out with. What does he plan on doing with his life?" My mother criticized. I swear, if she wasn't my mother, I would've stood up and slapped her right on the face.
"He looks messy, I know! But his personality is great mom! Once you get to know him he's decent. And he's currently in a band with three of his friends." I said, protecting Michael.
My mother made a disgusted noise, then followed it up by a nasty, "Really? He's in a band? That surely won't get him anywhere in life."
"I've had it with you and your judgemental bullshit mom! You continue to act like your lifestyle is perfect and everyone should live like you! Well guess what, not everyone wants to have a boring fucking job working in people's mouths! I'm definitely not going to follow in your footsteps, so get over it and supprt me for God's sake! And by the way, Michael's band is going great, they're going to be as big as One Direction one day, I promise you." I yelled. I didn't mean to sound that harsh, but I was just fed up.
My mother's face was astounded, and my entire family was just staring at me, amazed.
"Don't ever speak to your mother like that again, I'm taking away your Xbox." My dad said.
"Oh great! And while you're at it, why don't you just kill me too!" I said in a sarcastic voice, laughing and crying at the same time.
I got up from my chair, and ran outside. I might not be gone all night, but I needed somewhere to go. Somewhere where that would comfort me.
I couldn't think straight, tears were blinding my sight, but I just continued running down the street, my barefeet pounding against the hard cement.
I got to the park me and Michael always visited, and sat under our tree. As soon as I got there, I wish that I had the tall, clumsy boy with me. I wish that he could comfort me in my time of need.
I wiped my eyes, watching happy people walk past me, nothing but smiles on their faces. Why can't I be that happy? Why can't my family be like that?
My head started throbbing, I couldn't even think straight now. I haven't had a breakdown this bad in awhile, so I think that all my sadness and pain was coming out all at once. I was happy to let it all go, though, happy to set it free. I didn't want all this stuff to linger, I just wanted it to go away completely. Thinking of a life with no pain seemed completely impossible to me. How could one achieve that? I wanted to know, but knew I never would.
Deciding to drop this subject, I got up and decided to walk away the sadness. Plus, a little excercise wouldn't hurt, right?
It was around eleven at night, and I was still at the park, sitting in complete darkness. My phone rang, and I looked at the caller ID. Calum.
"Hey Stephanie!" I heard my boyfriend's voice say excitedly from the other end.
"Hi Calum." I said quietly, sniffling loudly. Yes, I was still slightly crying.
"Are you okay, babe?" Calum asked, concern drowning in his voice.
"No you're not. Where are you? Are you at home?"
"No, I sort of ran away..." I mumbled, embarrassed by my childish actions.
"Tell me where you are, I'll be there."
I sighed, knowing he wouldn't stop bothering me until I told him where I was, "At that one park near Target. I'm sitting under a tree."
"I'll be there, hold tight and don't leave Stephanie. I love you."
"Love you too." I spoke out quietly, then hung up on Calum. I didn't feel very good right now, my stomach hurt like fuck, and my head was still throbbing.
About thirty minutes later, I saw a figure approaching me, and my heart started beating quicker.
"Stephanie?" I heard the figure ask, Calum's voice ringing out into the silence.
"Yeah, it's me," I mumbled, wiping away my tears that laid on my cheeks.
"I brought you food!" Calum smiled, sitting down next to me. He had a frozen yogurt bag in his hand. He pulled out a small container and handed it to me, frozent yogurt was inside.
"Thank you so much, Calum. You didn't have to," I laughed lightly.
"No problem, what's wrong?" He asked as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to his body, kissing the top of my head.
"My family is just really judgemental. They kept making rude remarks about Michael and I kinda blew up on them. I ended up getting my stuff taken away," I said, my voice mixing with the sound of leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, "I want a new family."
"I'm sorry that happened, and no, you don't want a new family. You might think that, but once they dissappear, you'll wish you would've never said that," Calum comforted me, taking his left hand to rub circles on my back.
"Not so sure about that. I think I'd be thrilled if I got a new family, Calum."
"No you wouldn't, I promise you that. And I can also promise you that everything will be okay."