I know whom I am, the ice;
Even with the warmth on my skin.
Because the cold goes deeper even-
for I harbor the frost within.
Maybe you are the fire;
containing the beast of pride?
For it’s burning your vivid ambition-
and fueling the furies inside.
For at least I know of whom I am;
With no intuition to be shown.
Which is more than others shall say-
for all they are is known.
I end up thinking of the time when I was normal. The mere thought of what I’ve lost out on sends me into pangs of longing. As much as I may have wished to be different, I regret getting my wished turn into reality every single day of my horrible new life. Sideways glances? Yep. Weird second looks? Every time. Being judged before you even talk? Always. Wings? Duh. Psychic abilities as side affects from whatever crazy cocktail of drugs they have me on? You bet.
See, the US government had opened up this new program where each school would send a kid to a training facility somewhere remote to receive further education in a field of choice. If you were interested you signed up and took some tests, with the person scoring highest being sent to this mystery location. I won for my school which was a tiny place in Wisconsin on Great Lake Superior, about an hour’s drive from the city. My parents were thrilled. At least, they were six months ago when we thought we would have visiting hours on the weekends. Or that the training was taking places in our country. Or that we were able to choose the field of ‘further training’. But no, the decisions aren’t in my control anymore. I’m just the experiment.