Hey! I want to apologize in advance for the absolute suckitude of this entire chapter. I had writer's block, but i'm almost out of it. The sun-moon story idea was something off of weheartit. The story itself was my doing, so blame me for the TERRIBLENESS it contains. Kthanksbye.
We went back to school on Monday, to my reluctance. The weekend had been fantastic, minus the few setbacks cause by certain family members on mine and Alex's part. The beginning of the school day, Science, to the end of the school day, ELA, was nothing eventful nor note able. There was, although, an episode in the middle that might be worth writing down.
I enter the cafeteria, the scents of pizza and hamburgers attacking my nose and nauseating me. I scan the tables for Alex, but don't come up with anything. Usually i would sit alone, or with a few acquaintances from other classes-Avery and Beemer. (Her real name is Beatrice, but she hates it. She rants on and on all lunch about how she got the ridiculous nickname Beemer, from a dumb party where she ran into a streetlight. I never understood.) After making three rounds of hopeless wandering around the cafeteria, i finally decide to check the courtyard and then come back and sit with Avery and Beemer.
After a thorough search, i'm about to call it quits when i see Alex leaned up against the wall, by the door, just watching me wander around like an idiot. He dangles a cigarette teasingly in between his teeth, and i almost vomit then and there. Really, just the sight of it digs up memories i ache to forget.
"Hey, princess." Alex takes a drag of his cigarette, agonizingly slow. Is he aware the state this puts me in? My hands shake and i clench them into fists.
"Thought i might see you here." He pushes off the wall, making his way over to me. The cigarette balances between his thumb and index finger. He drops it on the concrete, stomping it out with the toe of his sneaker.
"Sorry about that." Alex bends down to kiss me, my silence either bothering him or going unnoticed. But his breathe smells like cigarettes, and i turn my cheek at the last second and firmly place my hands on his chest. He looks hurt at first, but masks his feelings and sniffs.
"Sorry." My voice is hoarse and rough, weak. "I'm sorry, you're making it hard not to think about her."
He holds up his hands in defense.
"Sorry, princess. People smoke, it's part of life. You got to get used to it." I narrow my eyes.
"It's just too soon."
"Yeah? It's been three years. When will it be time to move on?"
"What's wrong with you?"
"I'm just stating a fact, you've gotta get over it."
"You don't get over someone who was your ONLY HOPE DYING at their own hand. You don't get over it!"
Alex stares down at me, anger flashing in his eyes. What happened? What's going on? He starts stepping closer, so close i have to back up until i'm pressed against the wall and all i can breathe is cigarettes.
"You don't get over that?! My parents DIED. My only influence ran out on me. I TRIED to kill myself, and i FAILED. I FAILED at something so simple and straightforward as death. Do you know what that does to a person?!" He's breathing heavily, and Alex yanks himself away from the wall, away from me. He runs his hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.
"I didn't know." I say quietly, still confused. I didn't know where all this rage was coming from.
"I'm so sorry, Isabelle. I'm messed up." He walks back over to me, slumping into my shoulder. I feel it moisten, and i realize he is crying. I've never seen a man cry, especially one that seemed so unbreakable.
YOU ARE READING
If It Means A Lot To You (On Hold)Teen Fiction
Isabelle has no idea what to think when Alex asks her out. She knows he is a mystery, but on the way to their "date", Isabelle confides in him feelings about her sister's recent suicide. As time goes on, Isabelle falls in love with this beautiful br...