Felix woke up from his nostalgic dream with a frightened gasp. The moon light poured in from his apartment's window, casting eerie shadows in his room. Strangely, one ray of dim light shined on the man's sad face, acting as a spotlight. He looked frozen. His once happy features were stuck in a frown. His face shined in the light, for there were many tears streaming down his face. His eyes and nose were red from lack of sleep and crying.
The thin, cheap fabric clung to his sweaty body. His weak, thin legs kicked the covers off his body. His head started to throb with pain. His chest rapidly rose up and down. He shut his eyes tight and hit his head with his palm. The pain ceased, but only for a moment. Before the pain struck him again, a vivid memory of his dream flashed in his mind.
A pair of mesmerizing cobalt blue eyes stared at him with so much love it made his heart ache. The vision left as it came, and Felix clutched his head and started to sob. He cursed everything and anything before getting out of bed. He put on his fluffy ducky slippers and headed to his lonely kitchen. He went straight to the fridge. He carelessly pulled open the door and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels.
It was half empty.
Without a second thought, he chugged it. The liquid no longer burned his throat like it used to. Then again, everything didn't feel/is like the way it used to. Nothing was the same as before. He finished the bottle and threw it on the floor with a great force. Shards of glass scattered all over the wooden floor, joining the other pieces he'd broken over the past months. He walked through the valley of broken glass and grabbed a full bottle of vodka. He felt like it was screaming his name.
As he opened the bottle, he felt someone call his name. He turned his head to the sound, only to be greeted by an empty living room. The room suddenly boomed with colors and lights. Felix rubbed his eyes. When he opened them, he saw a beautiful man and a happy him cuddling on a couch. He stepped closer, and he grew surprised when he saw the beautiful male crying. He saw himself wipe a tear away from the man's face and whisper to the man, "Don't worry about it.....I'll love you no matter what..." Suddenly, the color and light disappeared. The room was back to its old gloomy, dull state.
Felix fell to his knees and screamed in agony. He didn't want to relieve the bittersweet memories. He wanted to end the misery, not bring it alive. Felix crawled to the door of his balcony and stumbled out. A very frigid powerful wind smacked against his body, almost sobering him up. He leaned against the beam holding the small, cheap balcony up and closed his eyes. After some time, he felt numb. He couldn't feel anything except the winds harshly slapping him awake.
"What the hell are you doing out here?" a small voice said. Felix slowly got up. His movements were weak because the alcohol knocked him unconscious. He balanced himself and came face to face with his neighbor. Her name was Gabby. She was a small female, yet she had a lot of energy residing in her.
"I couldn't sleep... go back inside. It's cold." Felix said with a dismissing wave. He didn't want her to get sick. She is always there for him. She's like a sister Felix never had. Gabby frowned and walked to the edge of the balcony. She was at least 3 feet away from Felix now.
"Is it because of..." she said in a low whisper. Felix shut his eyes and felt his heart being ripped out of his chest once again. Even though it happened a while ago, the pain still felt fresh. Gabby saw the agony in Felix's face, so she reached her arm out and touched his icy skin. Gabby's touch was so warm; it reminded Felix of the man from his dreams.
"I'll be leaving now." He said opening the screen door leading to his apartment. A horrible stench of booze and vomit seeped out. Before he could step inside his nauseating abode, Gabby called out his name. Her voice was full of genuine worry.
"Felix, I know it's bothering you. Please tell me. You can trust me, you know that!" Gabby exclaimed. Felix looked at his fluffy slippers and reluctantly walked towards the small female. It's not like he wanted to go back inside his filthy home.
"It's a long story. You wouldn't want to hear it. "Felix said, his eyes glued to the floor. Gabby scoffed and stood on the railing. Felix yelled at her to get down, but she just giggled and jumped next to Felix. The small balcony shook as she landed next to him. He yelped and held onto Gabby for his life. Once the shaking ceased, he sighed in relief and questioned her sanity.
"I'm perfectly normal. Anyway, we have time" she said with a big smile. Felix ignored her cheerful gaze and stared at his lap like it was the most interesting thing in the world. With a sigh, he shared his story.
"It all started when I met him."