P.S I Miss You- A Harry Styles Fanfiction

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p r o l o g u e ::

The dreams are becoming too much. Everytime I close my eyes, I see his face...

I woke up in a cold sweat, the silky sheets sticking to my bare legs. I didn't even bother to check the clock on my nightstand as I got out of bed and walked through the dark to the bathroom. I turned on the light and stood still until my eyes adjusted to the new light. I walked to the sink and open the plain white medicine cabinet above it. I grabbed the orange pill bottle that sits inside-- twisting the cap and shakeing two small pills from the bottle into my hand. I grab the cup off the sink and fill it with cold sink water. I put the pills on my tongue and drank the water to wash them down. I sighed and put the cap back on the bottle and put the bottle back in the cabinet, shutting it to look at my face.

I stared at my apperance in the mirror. The dark bags under my eyes made it obvious of the lack of sleep ive been getting. I looked at my right hand. On both sides were scars from our last night together. My eyes stung with tears trying to pool out of them at the thought of that night. It was a fight. We didn't fight but he tried to fight the gunman. We were in a restaurant. The gunman came in and we had ducked under the table.

"Are you crazy?" I asked, trying to hold him back.

"I can do this. You have to trust me."

"I do trust you but I don't want you dead."

"I won't die. I'll end this."

He kissed me one last time and then attacked the gunman.

He got shot that night and didn't make it through the ride to the hospital.

But before I tell the present we have to look at the past...

My name was Linden Hamilton. I was 19 years old when I lost the love of my life.

My family never approved of my boyfriend so I moved in with him just after a few months of dating, but I felt as if it was the right thing to do. We met our freshman year in high school. I didn't care for him at first, he kept to himself and was always in black. We were made lab partners for our Biology class. We got closer. We started dating. We fell in love.

We were high school sweethearts. Graduation night he became my first and my only. He gave me a promise ring. I didn't think that the very next year I would lose him. I was 18 graduation night. That night was the best of my life.

One year later, while celebrating our five year anniversary, the restaurant we were was held up. He tried to fight the shooter. In the end he was shot. The gunman was arrested.

I sat in the back of the ambulance with him. His hand was in mine. He was unconscious and the medics were doing all of what they could, stopping the blood from pouring out of his abdomin. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough. He died on the way to the hospital. They couldn't use the ambulance again until that next morning. I refused to leave his side but I wouldn't let them move him, I held onto his hand and cried.

Finally, I let them move his body. He was taken away in a body bag and I had to get his best friend to come pick me up, I couldn't stop crying so I couldn't drive. The best friend wasn't much better. He dropped me off at the house and then went to pick up his boyfriend. I went into our bedroom and went into the closet, grabbing one of his polo shirts and pulled it on. As I breathed in his scent, I began to cry even harder.

I lay on the bed clutching my chest. Then the light in doorway changed and I swear I saw him there. He was smiling.

"Don't cry, love. This isn't the end of us. It's just a delay. I'll see you again. I promise. I'll be waiting for you."

Then he was gone and I could feel how empty the room became, the light changed again but it was Niall in the doorway this time.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" He asked, but I knew he already knew the answer to the question. So i didnt bother to answer him. He came into the room and sat on the bed next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder. I sat up and looked at him. He opened his arms for me and I buried my face in his chest. His arms wrapped around me and he cried with me.

"It'll be okay. You'll see him again."

Years passed and nothing changed with me. The only people I saw were Niall and Liam. Every year, I visited his grave site and left a single white rose. I would go there whenever I need to talk. I would go there when missing him was too much.

Now the past has been revealed...

My name is Linden Styles I took his last name three years ago. I'm 23 years old. The love of my life was named Harry Styles. He died at 20. Tonight would have been our 11th anniversary and probably our sixth wedding anniversary.

I made my way to his grave in the pitch of dark at midnight. It wasn't too far from my flat. I'm holding a single red rose between my fingers. I walk into the cemetery and weave my way through grave stones. I stop in front of his stone. It read;

Harry Styles

February 16, 1992 - June 19, 2011

Beloved and Missed

"This isn't the end. It's just a delay."<\i>

I set the rose on top of the gravestone and sat down in front of it.

"Harry..." I whisper, "I miss you so much. I know it's been years but I can't stop thinking about you. That night was one of the worst of my life. I wish you were here with me. I know you said it wasn't the end but it feels like the end to me. I don't know how much longer I can go on without you. You said you'd see me again. I can't wait any longer."

I reached into my wide purse that was slung over my shoulder,and pull out a gun. I cock the weapon and hold it to my temple, closing my eyes tightly.

"I love you, Harry, I'll see you soon.

Right before I was about to pull the trigger to end my miserable life, someone came up from behind me and took the gun out of my grasp. "What the hell do you think youre doing?" Niall screamed at me as he chucked the gun on the ground. I was stunned, I didn't think anyone would stop me. I felt tears burning in my eyes, and the back of my throat start to swell up. Before I could answer, niall pulled me into his arms and held me. "You're much better than that Linden, if I can handle his loss, you can too." Niall hushed into my hair. "I just really want to be with him.." I cried into his chest, gripping onto the hem of his flannel shirt.

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