Louis sat on his bed, a mug clutched in his hand and for once he was drinking away his pain. The mug was full of anything he could find in the mini bar, down to the champagne that would cost him a small fortune and the cheaper bear he had found at the back. Taking gulps of it, his face screwed up in disgust and his throat struggled to let him swallow the foul concoction that had come to being in the cold white mug. Biting his lip and chuckling brokenly, he watched as the television showed a badly filmed video of him earlier in the day; but you could still make out the tears that had streamed down his face and the sobs that had left his lips.
Taking yet another mouthful, he could feel the difficulty he was starting to have in just keeping his body upright and not just laying on his side and crying; like the alcohol in his system was begging him to do. Letting out a shaky breath that soon turned into some deformed version of laughter, he placed the cup on his side table. His brain was racing, thinking of all the things he wanted to do. All the things he could try and think about, that would hurt Harry like he had been hurt today.
Licking his lips he stumbled out of his bed, crashing into the wall and hitting his shoulder hard enough a sharp pain shot down his arm. Frowning slightly in his dazed state he could take in the weird angle his arm was sitting at, but right now he could barely feel a thing. So he continued his journey, through the bedroom door and into the main living space. He snorted knowing that what ever he did now was going to be purely idiotic.
“I love that idiot…and he is fucking with me.” He mumbled to himself, finally finding what he had been looking for. Picking up the phone, he bit his lip again; maybe a bit to hard but right now he really didn’t care.
Fiddling with the screen, trying to get it to unlock and click what he had been looking for. Frowning he stumbled around, his body moving of its own accord and unable to stay upright for very long. The final moment he was standing was pretty awful, his body swaying like a tree and then keeling over; causing his to fall backwards onto the not so soft couch. The hard leather sticking to his sweat covered skin, causing him to wiggle around and feel it peel away from it.
Opening his mouth and trying to speak was getting so much harder, his tongue weighing a tonne and his mouth so dry; he was finding breathing uncomfortable. He had never got himself this drunk before and well he was in a way glad. Glad that it took him going through this much pain to actually have the need.
Holding his phone above his face, narrowing his eyes trying to see what he was doing and watching as it slipped from between his fingers; hitting him square in the forehead with a dull thud. Rolling his head slightly with the minimal pain and the effects of all the alcohol he had drunk, he finally opened his contacts.
Smiling to himself he scrolled down, watching as names passed and stopping on Harrys name, seeing the small heart next to it and feeling sick to the stomach. Remembering that Harry had added it the day they had finally got together. Frowning he sloppily pressed the button, watching as the screen lit up and informed him the call was going through. Somehow he managed to press the phone to his ear, listening to the phone ring. He listened and listened as the constant noise rang through his ears, not being answered and feeling so very angry at Harry. When suddenly the ringing cut out and he was met by the voicemail message.
The slow drawl of Harrys voice, causing shivers to run their way round Louis body and make his throat close up, with the tears wanting to fall. He heard the words clear as day, “Hi. This is Harry. Call back later or…shut up Lou. Or call back later.” The last part showing the laughter normally always there when him and Harry had been mucking about. Letting out the breath that was caught in his throat and the tears fall from his red rimmed eyes, he finally decided to leave a message.
“Hey Haz. Guess you forgot about me. Cuz you look happy with your new bird. I saw you two today…it made me fucking sick. That you forgot me so easy. That you are happy already. So Harry. Fuck you because I love you so much it hurts. I love you…” he finishes, his voice breaking at the last words and the shaking sobs breaking their way out of him.
He grit his teeth and wiped his face, growling at his own stupidity. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he logged onto twitter. He didn’t know why he went into the tag ‘Louis Tomlinson’; but he soon regretted it when he saw all the tweets talking about how pitiful it was that he was crying and acting like a baby. Groaning and trying to keep the words from affecting him through his drunken haze, he opened the compose new message part and frowned.
The keys seemed to be moving all over the place, not in focus at all and making him feel a little sick. Biting his lip and shaking his head, the phone slipped through his fingers and landed with a soft thud on the cushion next to him. Rolling onto his side Louis grabbed the phone and bit his lip, trying to think of the best way to write the message. He knew what ever he wrote he would get in trouble; he was of course in a loving and so very happy relationship with Eleanor wasn’t he?
Laughing slightly, he finally knew what to write and started typing. ‘You moved on and left me to fall. I hope your happy now.’
He looked at the message, letting out a shuddery breath and knowing he should warn people of the on coming storm that was going to happen, that this was probably the thing that would confirm that Eleanor was in fact a beard. But the longer he thought he knew this would be the confirmation, maybe even be the way he could be himself.
He clicked the button, watching as it showed up as now his most recent tweet and felt his whole body go loose. Finally feeling just how drunk he was. His body numb and light, he could hear the loud ringing of his phone.
One distinct ring tone in particular, one he had set for that one special person he could see himself getting old, grey and wrinkly. Watching as their tattoos started looking faded and weird, he couldn’t help but hold onto that image because he couldn’t even think of it happening with someone else. He didn’t move an inch, listening as Harrys favourite song was playing.
To everyone else it seemed to be just a random song, not meaning a thing and it wasn’t even a good one. It was really very bad and he couldn’t even bring himself to call it music. But it meant everything to them; well at least it still did to Louis. He knew he didn’t want to think about that at all, but thinking about it wasn’t an option anymore. Not when that song brought back the memory of Harry asking him to spend the rest of his life with him.
The fact that it wasn’t even a particularly interesting day just made it all the more important to him. He could remember that he had spent the whole day wrapped up in bed, drinking endless cups of tea and watching all the crap telly he had recorded that Harry just hated to watch. He watched episode upon episode, laughing and crying. But just loving the day he spent alone, knowing that Harry was having a day with his friends that Louis didn’t really have much in common with. It was when he had finally decided to crawl out of bed and make himself a cup of tea, clothed in a pair of his boxers and one of Harrys shirts; that smelled like Harry so badly that he had felt like he was wrapped his arms.
It was right then when he saw Harry, just sitting at the table and listening to some god awful song; bobbing his head along to it. Chuckling he walked over to the kettle and made a cup of tea, just watching Harry as he barely even noticed him. Smiling he softly he called his name, “Haz.”
Watching as the boy looked up his eyes wide, taking in Louis like It was the first time seeing him and causing the worst blush to cross Louis cheeks. Louis could see Harry standing up and stumbling over his own feet, causing laughter to fall from his lips. He can still feel the soft grip of Harrys hands as the pushed up the t-shirt and gripped his hips; forcing him to face him completely. Letting out a shaky breath he wrapped his arms round Harrys shoulders, watching as Harry lent down and pressed their foreheads together. He could still hear the song in the background and closed his eyes expecting to receive a kiss from him; but instead he heard Harry start to speak. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at him, “Louis. I want to ask you something.” His breath fanning across Louis lips and Louis can still remember nodding softly.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you Lou.” Louis could feel his heart speed up and his breath hitch, “So do you want that? Spend the rest of our lived together?” Louis doesn’t remember much after that, but the next week they both got a necklace. The didn’t often wear them but they meant so much to them.
Louis could still feel the hot tears falling down his cheeks and soaking into the cushions. His phone hadn’t stopped ringing, the song just killing him.