[Chapter Seventeen] Addison

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                         Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful
      But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

                                                       -Paulo Coelho

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Chapter Seventeen – Addie

I was so damn frustrated at this point. Not only had that guy did what he did, but now I have to deal with this cast because of it, I couldn't sign and it angered me. The doctor said it was healing really well, I guess it helped that I was unconscious for a week, which just let my body focus on healing.

I should have my cast off in a week or two and I couldn't wait.

I was finally home, and everyone seemed happy about that. I spent all the time I could around the horse I learned kicked Jack off of me. He let me come right up to him and pet him each time I went to see him, but I was still afraid to go out there alone, so I made people come with me, but they had to wait around the corner, I didn't want them to know what I was doing.

I didn't want to them to keep me from seeing him, and I didn't want them to invade on these special moments, and I didn't want to upset him bringing other people around.

I was also getting closer to Liam, and it scared me more and more. It felt so wrong to call him a friend, because he was so much more to me than that, but I didn't know what to call him at the same time, because he was just a friend in technical terms.

But I liked him, I liked him in a way I never like anyone before.

But how could I tell him, no one would ever be able to love the screwed up girl, I got better with contact, but the thought of kissing or sex terrified me and I almost had a panic attack. If it was that bad just thinking about it, I don't want to know how I would react to him actually doing it.

"Want to go to the pond, Addie?" Liam asked one morning after I'd been home about four days. I had been here just over a month and a half and it felt like so much longer.

I just nodded and we walked over to the barn to get horses, I went to Sadie, but was unsure, I looked to the field to make sure he wasn't watching before I got on here, I knew their horses but I still didn't want to hurt his feelings by riding Sadie.

I heard Uncle Ethan complaining that they still hadn't been able to get near him, people tend to get injured. It was just his and my secret. We bonded. I understood that he was scared to let them near him. His skin is scarred from his previous owners and I felt so connected to him, I hid mine from the world, but he didn't get the chance to do that.

To me, he was so much more than a horse and I needed to think of a name for him, he didn't have one but he deserved one.

I don't understand why they keep pushing him, with me, they gave me my space and didn't push me, they seem to think that animals had no feelings, and that bothered me, I don't think they realized how much they were hurting him.

We rode off to the pond, and like usual I took in the ever changing beauty of nature. I loved it here, there was no city, no cabs, no buses, no screaming crazy people, no drug addict or stalkers to worry about, and it was nice here.

I know that bad people were everywhere, and obviously Jack was here, but it was just less. I loved the chaos free environment the sun the natural air, just everything about it, there wasn't a single thing I missed about Seattle, not the clothes, shopping, money, house, cars and definitely not the people.

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