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"Emily! Emily!" my big brother called from outside the room. I scrambled to put the blade away and yanked my sleeve down. He didn't know about my depression. More than that he didn't know about my self harm.

"There you are," he said opening the door.

"Here I am Geoff," I said with my bubbly personality that he was used to. I always faked a smile around him, just like I did with everyone else.

"So, what do you want to do tonight since I don't have to work or anything..."

I shrugged. I wasn't really into anything. What was the point really. Life would just come to haunt me anyhow. "You hanging out with the boys tonight?"

"Yeah. Team Lads." Those guys were awesome. I smiled widely, first time I've had a real smile all day.

"Can I come?"


We walked outside and into the living room, and there he was. Gavin Free, that wonderful brit. He has been living here for a while, longer than I have. He was just...amazing. Absolutely amazing. His accent was extraordinary. I've had a crush on him for the longest time, but I've never actually spoke to him. I was afraid I would just mess everything up like I always do.

Gavin waved at me like normal. "Hello Emily!" he chimed.

I fought the urge to have a bright smile on my face. "Hi Gav..." I muttered, trying to hide that I liked him at all. I walked to the door without even a glance his way.

 "Where are you going?"

"Out..." I almost whispered.

"We're going to Michael's place. Wanna come?"

"Sure. Sounds top!" I knew he was going to join us---he always does----but it still hit me like a ton of bricks when I knew it was a fact.

I climbed into the car before the others did. I sighed, pulling up my sleeve and staring at the open wound. The blood was still lightly seeping from my arm. It throbbed around the edges as I placed my fingers on it. The car door opened, and I jerked my sleeve down.

"What did you jerk your sleeve down for?" Geoff asked with wondering eyes.

"No reason. I just thought I felt a bug on it..."

He gave me a glare like he didn't believe my excuse, but he soon looked to the rode and drove away. I was in the passenger seat beside him, as Gavin climbed into the back.

At Michael's place, we sat around playing Xbox and goofing off. Gavin, Michael, and Geoff had a few beers, meaning I had to drive us home. I rolled my eyes realizing that Ray and I were probably the only ones who were sober.

"How's it been girl," Ray asked nudging my shoulder. I winced slightly knowing that was the one I sliced earlier tonight.

"It's been alright," I lied. I felt my arm burn slightly, like my shirt was pinned up against the wound, irritating it.

"Don't lie," he said sternly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean don't lie!" He tugged at my shirt, and I winced in pain slightly. I had obviously cut my arm deeper this time than I usually do. I looked down at my arm. I didn't realize that I had worn my thin white blouse. The sleeve had been dotted with blood from the inside. Tears bubbled in my eyes. "What the hell happened?" he said just a little too loud.

"Ray! Shut the fuck up! No yelling!" Michael raged. Yeah, he was drunk.

"I can yell all I want when Emily is cutting!"

I flushed bright red out of embarrassment.

"She did what?!" Michael roared. Everyone else in the room froze where they stand.

"Emily?" Geoff choked.

I ran out the door and into the bushes by the road. I collapsed to the ground and started sobbing. I found a stick laying on the ground and started scratching it into my wrists.

"Emily!" Gavin yelled from behind me.

"Go away..." I breathed.

He sat down beside me and pulled me into his arms. I sobbed into his chest as he took the stick out of my hand, throwing it to the ground. I snuggled up close to him instinctively.

"What's wrong?" he asked with his comforting voice.

"Everything. Just everything!" I choked.

"Can you tell me?"

I told him everything. I told him how life just had no meaning anymore, like it was just...nothing. Everything was going downhill. The uphills were mountains and the downhills were cliffs... It was so hard now.

"You know," he said pulling me closer, "it'll soon get better."

"How do you know?"

"Everything get's better. I promise. You have people that love and care about you. You have people in your life that couldn't be without you. I know this. You are an amazing girl, and I know that the world would be a miserable place without you."

"No the world would be better off..."

"That's a lie Emily."


"Because so many people love you..."

"Name one."


"He's my brother..."

"I do."

I pulled out of his grasp. "Yeah right."

He grabbed me, pulling me back towards him. "I do. I really do." He crushed his lips to mine, and I fell limp. I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach. I didn't know what this was. This feeling. This amazing feeling. "I've loved you since I met you."

"What are you talking about...I never spoke to you."

"True, but that doesn't mean I never spoke to you. Never heard yours and your brother's conversations. Listen to how bright you are. Hear your life. See your smile. Hear your voice. You are an amazing girl. I've never met someone as amazing as you are. I have never met such an...amazing...woman."

"You're lying...."

"No I'm not. I swear. I love you. You mean a lot to me, and I hope that you... I don't know... Like me too?"

"I do," I breathed.

"What was that?"

"I do..."

"You do?" He laughed slightly, like with relief. "You do!" He lifted me up off the ground and twirled me.

"I do," I beamed.

He kissed me once again, and I felt amazing for once.

"Will you go out with me?"

I froze. What if this becomes like all the others... What if he leaves me in the dirt like everyone else is. "I uhhhh... ummmm...."

"Emily. Please." He took my hands in his... "I really do love you. I want to be with you."

"Yes," I whispered looking to the ground.

He pulled me into his arms, and I smiled. Maybe life's good after all.

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