Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
You fucked up Harry.
That's the last fucking thing your supposed to call a girl. Fat.
That's the kinda fruity ass shit you find on tumblr. With the shirtless guy smiling the perfect smile hold up a index card with something along these lines:
You're perfect just the way you are.
This cheesy ass shit is giving me a headache.
I really fucked up. I could tell she was trying to hold in her tears and emotions. I know her like the back of my hand. Even though I've known her for only about a week, I've gotten to know her so well. I've done about everything to get to know her.
Lord. Why did I have to say that?
Don't answer that, I already know why. Because I'm a complete fucking douche. I should go out there and apologize, but she probably won't even care.
But hell, I'll try anyways.
As I get up, all the words scramble in my head, trying to figure out what to say to her.
"I didn't mean it." "I lied" Both are defiantly true, but neither are good enough.
"Your beautiful." this one I could never say. It's not a lie, it's just not me. Or my act, or whatever it is. Im still trying to figure out.
"I say things when people piss me off." This isn't a lie. It's actually the dead truth.
I don't know why apologizing is so damn hard. I just don't know what to say. I want to sound genuinely apologetic, but not too cheesy.
Without thinking, I walk out of Jess' room and walk down the long flight of stairs. I enter the kitchen and look around ; she's not there. She's probably in the living room. No, not in there.
Shit. Where is she?
"Jess ?" I call multiple times before I hear a shuffle in a nearby closet. I silently walk closer to it and swing the door open.
She sits in the corner of the spacious closet with her knees held close to her chest. Her face is buried in her legs and she sits there motionless.
"Jess. I'm sorry." I step in the closet, close the door behind me, and sit next to her. She looks up at me and scoots away as far as she can into the tight corner.
"Jess." I say, but she doesn't look at me ; her head remains buried in-between her knees
"Look at me Jess." her cold eyes meet mine and guilt washes over my entire body.
"Sorry, but a simple sorry doesn't mean anything." She looks at me with cold, dark eyes. The warm brown ones she had only thirty minutes ago has faded, and it's because of me.
I do what I hope will get her back. I kiss her. Her lips don't respond to me in any way, and I can tell she is refusing to. She wants to, but she doesn't. Her body responds to me in every way. Her cheeks heat and her body warms at my touch. I pull away after she continues to reject me. I have never been rejected. It's a fucked up feeling. Her eyes continue to look at anything, besides mine.
"Jessica, look at me." I say once again.
"It's funny how we do things, and have no regret." she laughs- fake laughs.