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Pen Your Pride

chapter 1

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Chapter 1

“Marley…” He says again but he trails off again for the third time. He has started this sentence the same way for the past five minutes trying to find the right words but they don’t come. “Hey, you can tell me.” I reassure him and he smiles but, it doesn’t meet his eyes. What is he hiding from me? “Just tell me Conner, before we get into a car crash your distracting me!” I say with obvious sarcasm in my voice. “I can’t do this anymore.” He says with no emotion in his voice. “Do what?” I ask as I stop at a red light. “This” he says waving his hands back and forth from me to him. I know where he’s going with this and I don’t want to here the words come out of his mouth. “Maria…” he says and reaches for my hand but I pull away. Why is he calling me by my real name? I hate my real name!

 When I was little the name Maria was to proper and perfect for me when I was a child. But that name Maria, fit perfectly into a Catholic house hold. And it fit perfectly for a Preachers Daughter. But it didn’t fit my personality. I wanted to be crazy and wild I wanted to be myself so I started having people call me Marley. I felt like it suited me when I was younger. I remember there was a time when I was eight years old and I was out playing in this big oak tree in our backyard and my mother wanted me to come inside and help her set up for this big brunch event that was going to be held in our house. She repeatedly called my name Maria and I would only respond with “Whose Maria?” my father got a kick out of it and would call me other names and I would along with it. He would always call me Marley at home but if we were at church or out in public it was always Maria.

“Marl…Maria… I don’t love you anymore and it’s not far to you or to me we both have to live a little.” He says with concern in his voice but, I ignore it. “Didn’t we both live a little two nights ago?” I say and I try and fight back the tears .He nodes his head to reply.

I pull over to the side of the rode and put the car in park. I look into Conner’s crystal blue eyes. He has his hair all scruffed up with a snapback on top. “Why?” I ask all he does is shrug his shoulders “Maria I don’t love you anymore.” He says with no emotion in his voice. “Of course you do!” I reply. It’s true he has to love me still. “No I don’t” he says with more anger in his voice. “Who told you to say this? Was it Mark? Or Sammi? Oh I know who it is it was…”  “Maria it was nobody! I made this decision on my own!” he shouts.

 “…….Conner……please get out of my car.” I say calmly. “What?” “You herd me. Please get out of my car.” I’m trying hard to fight back the tears that are ready to spill at any moment. “But were almost ten miles away from town.” He says “Well you better start walking.” He looks in shock of what I have just said to him. “Go now!” I yell. He grabs his penny board out of the back seat and get out of the car standing in shock. And I just drive away and finally let the tears fall.

I’ve been driving around aimlessly for the past hour not sure where to go. I don’t want to go home because I know my mother will be questioning me until I snap her head off. And I don’t want to go over to my best friend Ethan’s house because he will also be questioning me. I just decide to go home and crawl in my bed and drown myself in tears and cheesy hallmark love stories.

The second I step foot in the door my mother is already asking me questions “What happened Maria? Are you alright? Where’s Conner? Is he okay? Are you okay?” Geez will she ever stop talking! “I’ll be up in my room.” Is all I say to her and fumble up the stairs.

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