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Pen Your Pride

Chapter 25

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Justin’s POV  

“Oh, you make my ovaries ache.”  Madelyn swooned as I walked into the living room and sat down beside her. She was looking at her phone. Her words made me stare at her, since I hadn’t ever heard her talk about her ovaries.

“Is it,” I paused, not knowing how to say it, “that time of the month?” I felt so awkward saying that. I had tried to avoid all period talk, not wanting to be awkward about it.

            “Well yeah, but tell me that isn’t the cutest baby in the entire world.” She handed the phone to me, then took it back and kept staring at it.

            “It is cute, but not as cute as our babies will be.” I winked.

            “Don’t say that.” She said slapping my knee as she got up and walked into the kitchen. “You make me want babies.”

            “Is that a problem?” I laughed.

            “You’re making me want a baby right now.”

            “So let’s have a baby right now.” I got up and followed her into the kitchen, sitting on a chair at the counter. I knew she wouldn’t go for having a baby right now, but I thought it might be interesting to see where this conversation could go.

            “We can’t have a baby right now!” She exclaimed. “I’m in my senior year of school! I am starting clinicals next week! And the small fact that we aren’t married yet!” I could totally tell she was on her period. She normally was the most laid back person ever, but not today.

            “Babe, if you want to have a baby right now, we can. You can always go back to school later. We can get married whenever you say the word. I would’ve proposed by now, but you told me I wasn’t allowed to until you graduated.”

            “I don’t want a baby right now!” She turned around, almost in tears. I had only ever seen Madelyn cry twice. This was weird, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. I decided a hug would probably be the ideal place to start.

            “Mads, what’s up?” I put my arms around her.

Madelyn’s POV

            I tried not to let a tear escape, but one did. Justin wiped it away before it made its way down my face. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I knew it would make me feel better.

            “Do you ever worry,” I started, “that we won’t be able to have kids?” He just looked at me. “What if I can’t ever have a baby? What if I have another miscarriage? Will you still love me even if I can’t give you babies?”

I was sobbing at this point. Justin’s shirt was wet as he pressed me against his chest. Even though I didn’t look better, I felt better now that it was off my chest. I had been thinking about this for the last month. Whenever Justin brought up having kids, I got nervous thinking that I might not be able to give him the children he longed for. Would he still love me as much as he did? Or would he grow to resent me as his infertile lover?

            “Madelyn, don’t ever think that.” I looked her straight in the eyes. “I will love you no matter what. We can try to have a baby. If it doesn’t work out, there are ways to get around that. We can get a surrogate. We can adopt. We will be parents one way or another.” He kissed my forehead and pulled me against his chest again.

            “Are you sure? I know how badly you want kids.”

            “I want you more.”

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