I know what I looked like today. Bright eyes, proud curls, and rosy cheeks.
I know how crappy I felt just yesterday with tissues stuck up my nose and snot out the wazoo. It was gross.
I know how you made my lips tug into a smile just by seeing you. I can't explain why, but you make me indescribably happy, even if I don't want you to.
I know how much fun I had making goofy faces at you from across the tables of cookies while you smiled and goofed off with me.
I know how silly I must have looked when I danced for the hell of it. You didn't mind. You joined in.
I know how hard I tried to make your eyes catch mine and stay on me. Forget that you had other friends there, you should look at me.
I know that your entire family was there too, and maybe I was pushing the unspoken limits because maybe your mom knows what you don't know and doesn't like it.
I know that I don't like feeling jealous just because you said hi to a girl I semi know. I shouldn't be jealous over something so petty. (I'm not anymore thankfully.)
I know that when I left, I called goodbye over my shoulder to my other friend, but I also smiled at you.
I know that then I also added the words "I love you" loud enough for you to hear but not as loud as my goodbye.
I know that maybe it wasn't subtle, but also, it wasn't clearly directed at you. Even I don't know if I meant it for you or my friend.
I know that I didn't regret saying it. Maybe it'll make you think.
I know that it frightened me that it doesn't frighten me that I mean it.
But, do you know that I meant it?
YOU ARE READING
My mind never stops. And, I finally decided to quit trying to make it rest. Basically these are just little ramblings, poems, thoughts, and stories that will all be collected here in one place.