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Pen Your Pride

A/N: Okay so I'm thinking I'm going to try and get to Christmas time in this book before actual christmas and we can have a merry old time with the pack these holidays :) Enjoy this chapter :)

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Stiles gaped over at Derek as if he’d just got up onto the table and taken his pants off right there and then. Had he heard correctly?

“What?” He choked out in a dry breathless yelp. “Why would you think that?”

Derek tilted his head to the side. “You promised you would tell me the truth.” He said

Stiles scoffed a few times, completely taken aback by Derek’s question. “Well I would if there was any truth to it. I don’t blame myself.” He said, feeling a heat wash over him that was making him start to get very uncomfortable.

“Stiles, you talk in your sleep sometimes, and I can tell that you’re lying just by listening to your heart. I think you should probably just have a glass of water and relax for a minute because right now it sounds like you’re panicking.” Derek said, a little worried at the rapid rate that Stiles’ heart was beating.

He reached across the table for his glass and knocked it back all in one go, Derek watching him with wide eyes.

“Stiles, I just want to know why you’ve put that burden on yourself, that’s all.” He said.

“Me? Well what about you? I know you’ve put a lot of blame on yourself for things that happened in the past.” Stiles said and Derek turned his face away, staring down at the napkin in front of him.

Stiles felt a pang of regret, he hadn’t meant to say that, he didn’t really want to bring it up. They air hung silently around them and was only broken when the waitress came back with two plates of dessert.

Stiles sighed heavily, relief flooding through him as he started eating, knowing that Derek hated it when he spoke with his mouth full. Derek started eating his own food too, the silence just getting worse.

“I…” He started, Derek looking up expectantly. “I don’t really talk in my sleep do I?” He asked.

Derek nodded. “You say a lot of things Stiles. Plus you can't control that thing when you’re awake, why would you think you’d be able to when you’re asleep?” He pointed to his mouth and Stiles sighed again.

“I don’t… I don’t blame myself… I mean it’s not my fault that she got sick.” Derek watched him intently from across the table as he tried to get something out, knowing that hiding things from Derek never worked out well. “She used to get these headaches, I mean they started out pretty random and everything… then they just started happening all the time. My dad wanted her to go to a doctor and make sure everything was alright but uh… well, I had a lot of attention issues and trouble focussing back then. I was probably a terrible child. She helped me with my homework for hours after school, sometimes it would take an hour just to get me to sit down.” He swallowed, biting his lip as he remembered back when he was a kid. “So um, my dad would say ‘you need to check yourself out, make sure you’re okay’ and she would tell him that she’d get around to it but she just… I mean dad was working overtime at the precinct and I was more than a handful.

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