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I think every girl dreams of some handsome, breathtaking man sweeping them off their feet, even when they know that in reality that's never going to happen. They have to keep thinking it though to give them something to live for. I, on the other hand have no such dream. I mean I wouldn't turn down a nice guy if I ever came across one, I'm just not looking and especially not dreaming about one.

At 16, I've been in a few relationships, nothing too serious. For the most part not being in a relationship is working out pretty good for me. The only time I get a little lonely is around the holidays. Especially Christmas. My favorite holiday. The music, the gifts, the snow, the decorations. All of it gives my this amazing feeling. Like I'm unstoppable and anything is possible. That is how I should be feeling right now considering Christmas is two weeks away, but unfortunately people at my school think it's really fun to ruin anything good in my life. It's a really annoying thing to do, especially to a mentally unstable person like myself. it hasn't been confirmed by a psychologist or anything, but sometimes you can just tell if you're a little different then everyone else. I don't think it's depression. I'm not really sure what it is, but whatever it is causes major mood swings. anger issues. and the inability to love another human being.  I've tried. My parents think I'm some disappointment and I've pushed away my younger sister so much I don't think she wants anything to do with me anymore.

Life get's rough and I'm very aware of that and I don't like sitting around feeling sorry for myself because I know that's not going to help anything. So I block everything out and just try to get through each day. I just tell myself there are people who have it way worse then me and I should be grateful and I am. So instead of dreaming for my prince charming, I dream for a best friend, a sidekick, someone to vent too, someone that will always be there for me. No matter what.

Authors Note:                                                                                                                                                          I would like to point out before I start the first chapter that some of the events in this story are based on real things going on in my life. If you don't care then don't read this, if you do read it and don't like it keep it to yourself. I'm trying here. I just want to share my ideas and thoughts with people so enjoy.

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