Moving hurt so much. Everything just seemed so impossible. My stomach didn't even show. I just looked like I was gaining weight. This baby made everything that much more difficult. She made moving difficult. She made sleeping difficult. #@?! she even made laying down difficult. I was never comfortable. I lay down and finally feel myself falling asleep and she just happens to decide now is a great time to kick me and let me just say that hurt like #@?!. Darned cancer.

My face flooded with heat and the amount of sweat I was laying in was disgusting. This was my hint that the cancer was getting worst. The door creeps open and James walks in.

"I have a surprise for you." he says softly as he plants a kiss on my forehead. He helps me up and forces me to walk. Which let me tell you hurts like #@?!. We walk together to the living room. I stop dead in my tracks when I see my mom. James nudges me forward and I send a glare his way. I sit down on the couch opposite of her. She's playing with her fingers and she seems really fidgety.

"Um your dad came by the other day." She stutters. I want to ask what's wrong with her but she speaks before I can. "He told me that you're pregnant." She didn't sound angry like I expected her too. "And when me and you're dad were still together we were talking about what we wanted to do most with you and I said I wanted to hold my grand kid while we had a conversation well about anything." She looks up occasionally but mostly she just looks at her hands that rest in her lap. "And I'm trying to get clean. So that this kid can have a grandma. Someone that can tell her stories about when her mom was a kid." Her voice chokes at the end and a sob escapes her lips. My eyes soften and I go over to sit next to her. I put my arm around her and rest my head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." She repeats it over and over again.

"It's okay mom. We all make mistakes." I whisper into her ear. She clings on to me like her life depends on it. We sit there for a while as I hold her in my arms. She's even smaller than me and that's saying something. The pain has momentarily subsided and I can't help but praise my mother for being the reason it's stopped. I've forgiven my mother but I will never forget. I refuse to forget.

After what felt like hours of mother daughter time we had finally caught up. I could tell she was having major withdrawal symptoms but I was trying to keep her mind busy with good memories. Of times where we were all happy. At times she would stutter or get this distant look in her eye and the whole time she was sweating more than me and she was more fidgety than the baby that's growing in my stomach is but I had a good time...a great time actually.

James came back from his 'guy time' at around 12- He gave me some well needed alone time with my mom and decided to hang out with Parker and Ronnie in the mean time- and told me once again that he had a surprise for me. I don't know how many more surprises my body can take. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted and all I want to do is sleep. But like the good person he is he made me get up and go out with him.

It didn't take long for me to figure out that we were headed to Sandy's house.

"You know when you start blushing like that randomly it makes me wonder what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" James says suggestively while raising an eyebrow at me. My eyes widen at as I process is statement.

"James!" I gasp. "You know it's cause of my cancer." I try and guilt trip him but it doesn't work because I just end up giggling at the end of my sentence anyways.

"That's just your cover up." He says with a wink. I slap his arm playfully but laugh all the same. He ends up having to help my out of the car because the pain is currently rushing through my body mercilessly. We walk through the door and all of a sudden people are jumping up from behind things shouting surprise. I smile at the party my friends have thrown for me. I'm assuming it's a baby shower because there's only girls here and the only decorations are baby themed. Well that's sweet, corny, but sweet nonetheless.

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