Chapter 8) maybe..

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I woke up to someone tapping on my shoulder. it sort of startled me at first but then when I opens my eyes it was only Harry.

"wake up love, we need to make a trip to the house then we will be back."

I rubbed my eyes.. "okay"  I replied.

and I grabbed his arm to stabilize myself.

"Louis wants us to bring him some coca pops."

that sounds like something he would ask for.

"how is he doing?"

"ummm.. he says he's fine, but I don't really know."

that is not what I wanted to hear.

"I still feel bad."  I said quietly.

"he's a fighter.. he'll be all good."

I didn't reply.

"he says your not allowed to go to ur house alone though."


"it's dangerous."

"okay.."  I just agreed

then we were leaving.

the ride to the house was quiet and awkward. we didn't even make an attempt to talk or even look at each other.  longest 10  minutes of my life.

we pulled up the drive way to the boys house and we all piled out of the van and walked up to the front door, still no talking.

"do you want a change of cloths love?"  zayn asked.

"sure.. thanks."   then he nodded and walked up the stairs.

he came back a few minutes later with some grey sweat pants and and black t-shirt.  it was really big so when I put it on I tied it in the back with one of the hair ties on my wrist,put on my black flip flops and I put my hair up into a high messy bun, and my glasses. over all I looked like a complete bum. but I didn't care, I was going to be at the hospital all day anyway, between Lauren and Louis.

that made me wonder how Lauren was doing... I bet if I asked her she would say fine, even if she isn't.

I was excited to see her though.. and tell her what crazy things have gone on.. she's gonna flip out.

then I realize that is has it been about 24 hours and a lot of crazy shit has happened, more action than I've had in month.

Louis is just crazy

that's why.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when someone knocked on the bathroom door.

"I think we're going now love."

it was niall, I could tell by his Irish accsent.

"ok, I'm coming.."  I said slowly.

then I un locked the door

and opened it


"yeah.. I think I am.. "

"alright then, let's go. "

I didn't reply I just followed him to the front door. and then we got into the van,  again.

on the way there it was sorta better than last time.. we talked some, awkwardly.

we got there and I went in and went straight to Laurens room.

she was sleeping.  Damn it.

so I went back out into the hallway and found the boys, they were on their way to Louis room.

we walked in, and he was on his phone, tapping away at the screen. then he put his head up.

"oh hey guys,.. and girl."

"how are you.."  I blurted without even thinking.

"uhh.. I guess I'm ok at the moment.."

"good..."  is all I said.

maybe it wasn't my fault. and it just happened.

or maybe it's Louis, or my fathers

or nobodys.

does that mean I'm not going to blame myself..


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