Unwanted Thoughts... But Why Did Guests Have To Come Along With Them??
"Kick harder Rose!!!" Alex shouted at me as he trained me to fight.
We'd been fighting for four hours straight and contrary to popular belief, vampires do get tired... Extremely tired.
"You act like you don't want to protect our baby! Do you even care if an enemy gets your baby? Our baby?!" Alex nocked me onto my back for what had to be the hundredth time in the last hour.
I was three months pregnant so I still wasn't showing but I could feel the link with my baby already. The doctors (vampiric doctors of course) told us it was a girl and that had brought a smile to Alex's face, but since then he has had me training constantly to ensure the baby has two parents who can literally fight for her life.
The only problem with the two parents part... I wasn't even sure if it was Alex's but since that day at his house, I hadn't seen James. He hadn't phoned me, hadn't emailed me, hadn't sent me a text or a letter; he didn't even turn up to my wedding to protest or congratulate me.
At the memory of James' abandonment I kicked harder, punched harder and moved faster, pretending it was him I was hitting for all the heart ache he'd caused me. All the misery. All the... Loneliness!
"Do you even want your daughter Rose?" Alex hissed and my vision turned red. How dare he!!! My baby was only thing keeping me centred in the new world I've been forced into.
I attacked without thought, I just let my instincts take over and had him pinned against the wall by his next within a minute flat. "Take that back!" I hissed in his face and didn't even recognise my own voice at that minute.
He smirked at me and pride shone in his eyes. "I apologise my love." he stroked the side of my face and I eased up my grip until I finally let to of his neck completely. "Our baby couldn't have a better or protective mother than you Rose." Alex kissed me deeply before sweeping me up in his arms to carry me to our room.
When we reached the grand master bedroom he gently laid me down and kissed me softly before murmuring, "I've got some business to take care of, but you rest and I'll be back in a few hours." with that he left me in the room alone.
He had to take care of business a lot lately.
I shut my eyes and tried to sleep and came to the same conclusion as I always did... I wasn't that tired anymore. I stood up and walked over to the window in time to see Alex backing out of our driveway in his new car and driving away. I sighed when I couldn't see his car anymore and absently rubbed my non-existent baby bump thinking of what my beautiful baby girl is going to be like. Smart? Tall? Short? Athletic? Brunette? Blonde? Vampire? Part vampire?
But no matter how many thoughts I think, they always lead back to one thought. James. How could he leave me without a backwards glance? How could he even have the curtesy to phone me? Was the baby his? Was he my soulmate or was Alex? Why did he run? Was it me?
"Stop thinking about him." Riley intoned from behind me. She could no longer startle me like she used to because I could smell her distinct smell of flowers and sunshine a mile away.
"Thinking of who?" I asked innocently facing her; fooling nobody.
She shook her head and hugged me tightly. "You know who." She whispered in my ear before pulling back but holding the tops of my arms to survey me. "Alex had you training again?" She asked in disbelief noticing my fading bruises.
"He thinks I won't be strong enough to protect my baby girl if I don't train enough now to be strong when she's born." I shrugged but his reasoning still irritated me. As if I wouldn't be strong enough to look after my own baby!
"He does realise you're carrying said baby doesn't he?" Riley asked with a quirk of her brow.
"If he carries on forcing me to train he will do because I'll castrate him." I said with no emotion in my voice and Riley burst out laughing.
"I'd love to see that! Imagine the regeneration process LOL!!!" After I joined in with her contagious laughter we began to let the laughter die off until it became comfortable silence between us two.
I walked over to the settee in the room and sat down with a thud and Riley flopped on after me. "So how's you mister?" I asked because in the three plus months since James left I hadn't been able to see Riley that much.
"He's alright. He would have come too but he's still a bit iffy with Alex after he refused to go after you when you'd been captured by James." I flinched at the memory and at James' name. "Sorry." She whispered as if that would heal the wound gorged open by Alex and James. I hadn't heard James' name been spoken out loud in the months he's been gone and Alex just doesn't talk about the whole event.
"It's fine Riley." I said on a sigh - i'd been sighing a lot lately - and smiled feebly at her. "I need to get past all of that anyway. James-" I winced again but carried on, "isn't coming back and I've resigned myself to that. Me and Alex are working through our past problems and have made some headway. As long as a wrench isn't thrown into the works between us two then our relationship should begin to thrive before little Lilyanna is born." I smiled at the name I'd chosen for my baby and Riley squealed.
"Lilyanna? I love it!!!" she hugged me again and talked to my stomach. "Auntie Riley is going to spoil you rotten." She cooed. "Yes she is, yes she is..."
I pulled her hand away from my stomach to get her attention. "Earth to Riley?" She finally looked at me. "I actually have to talk to you about the whole auntie thing..." I started and she gasped.
"I'm not allowed to be her auntie?" She looked and sounded genuinely heart broken. "I thought I'd make a good auntie!" She began and I shushed her before she went even further away from what I meant.
"I want you to be her auntie but I also want you to be her sole God Mother. So if I die then you're to look after little Lilyanna." She gaped at me.
"Are... Are you sure Rose? That's a big responsibility you know..." Riley's look of surprise didn't waver.
"I don't know why you're so surprised!" I laughed. "My baby is my whole life already so you know I wouldn't do this lightly but I also know that you'll protect her as if she's yours and that's what I need. I need to be sure that if anything happens to me and Alex then someone can look after my baby. You will." Tears welled up in Riley's eyes and I laughed and hugged her again. "Enough tears!!! You're mean to be happy for God's sake!!!"
Riley started laughing with me and pulled away from me to wipe her eyes delicately. "I am extremely happy Rose. I just can't believe it! This is the best news I've had for ages!!!" she got up and and gave her eyes one last rub to get rid of the final tears. "Well I best be off but I'll call tomorrow again because I'm trying to convince Nick to come around here to see you."
"You don't have to Riley." I started but she cut me off.
"He wants to see you but he doesn't want to see Alex yet so he can be a man and come here when Alex is out on one of his 'business trips'." She made air quotations around 'business trips' which stung a little bit because neither of us knew what Alex was actually doing when he left the house at every hour of the day.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled at her and stood up to give her a final hug before she sprinted out of the room.
I moved back over the window and watched Riley leave as well, but when I couldn't see Riley anymore I stayed at the window staring out with my thoughts drifting back to James again.
What did I do wrong? I thought.
Nothing. A thought that wasn't my own invaded my thoughts.
"Hello Rose." Said a voice from behind me. A voice I hadn't thought to hear again unless due to a coincidence.
I hissed but it came out slightly breathless.