Justin

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"J-Justin." Ryan's moans filled the room as I lifted my hips up, following his voice to move faster.

I almost stopped right there, his moans were nothing like his.

But, I needed a since of comforting.  And Ryan gave me that.

So I continued to pleasure both of us, moving myself up and down, bouncing quickly as he told me to.

My dead boyfriend's best friend gave me comforting, comforting I wasn't letting go of.

_

It was waking up without him next to me.

Or was it having no one to hold at night?

It might be the growing void that's depressing me.

Or the fact I was pushed to go to a community college.

Just what I wanted. 3 weeks after he leaves, I get pushed by Charlie to finish high school and go to college.

So instead of sleeping in and being depressed everyday like I want, I get up, eat breakfast, and drive my car to college.

Charlie is covering everything. My college payment, apartment bills, phone bill.

The only thing I do for myself is buy my food and gas.

I'm hopeless without him.

_

College was better than high school. I had been accepted for my sexuality. 

I wasn't bullied.

I was getting decent grades.

Academically, I was fine.

I had a few friends I could call up when the thoughts of him got to be to much.

I even got a tattoo, He always told me I would look good with one.

I cut my hair, started working out, eating right.

I changed. Appearance wise.

On the inside I'm still the same broken boy who lost his brother, was hated by his parents, and had no real friends.

I was the same.

I was just broken without him.

{ gif of Justin on the side xx }

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