I never knew so much hate could come from your own sisters. I just want to die. No one cares if I do anyways. My older sister already told me she wishes I was dead and she told me to kill myself. Then my little sister beats me up. She hits me and screams at me. She is constantly screaming at me now. Today she hit me over 50 times (I lost count.) Also she has whipped me with anything she can find. If I try to fight back I get in trouble. No one in my house gives a shit about me. No one asks if I'm okay and if they do they don't care to hear why I'm not. My dad screams at me and my mom doesn't even care about me. Everyone pushes my feelings aside and just uses me. Its always 'Heather do this. Heather do that.' I GET NOTHING IN RETURN BESIDES GETTING SCREAMED AT BECAUSE I DIDNT DO IT PERFECTLY. I have to cook for my sisters because they cant seem to get the fuck up and do anything. I'm constantly washing and taking out the dog because no one cares about him. I'm always stuck cleaning the house. I constantly hide from everyone because I just want to be alone. I'm sick of everything. They don't even understand anything that goes on with me but then say I have no reason to be upset. Well here is why I'm fucking upset.
* I'm harassed in school and no one does anything about it. But if I was popular everyone would stop it.
* Everyone hates me. I'm always the last on being picked for everything. I'm being serious. No one picked me to be on their teams for gym (I know it sounds stupid but it was only me who didn't have a team) Also if we are picking groups in class I'm always the last on left.
* I push everyone away to the point that I have no one.
* I struggle with my weight and everyone points out that I'm fat.
* I cant wear anything without feeling really insecure about my self (pajama's are my best friend.)
* A lot of people have told me to kill myself.
* I cant seem to please anyone.
* I'm a mistake.
* Everyone has hated me to the point that I hate myself.
* I cant go out in public without being ashamed of myself.
* I get really nervous speaking in front of people. They all stare at me even when I'm done talking.
I could go on for hours on the things that upset me and just with me thinking about these make me upset. I could just end it all tonight.
