Hello My Old Heart: A Johnlock Fanfiction

A Face to Call Home

"So good you didn't see the nervous wreck I used to be. You'd never know a man could feel so small, and you never look at me like I'm a liability." ~A Face To Call Home by John Mayer

"John, are you all right?" Mary asked, warily eyeing her flustered boyfriend.

"Yeah, fine," he lied, trying to force a smile. He took a sip of wine, but it only made his stomach tighten more.

"I know something's wrong," Mary said forcefully. She pursed her lips and reached across the table for John's clammy hands.

"God, you're trembling," she whispered. Her concerned expression filling John with guilt. "Are you thinking about..." 

"No, I'm not," he snapped abruptly. Mary drew away, her emerald eyes flooding with hurt. John internally groaned. This evening is not going as planned, he thought bitterly.

John leaned closer to his love and placed a gentle hand on her cheek. "I don't care about him," he said steadily, stroking her soft skin. "Only us."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the flickering candle. Damn, she is so beautiful, John thought, wondering how a bloke like him could be so lucky. Mary nuzzled his hand affectionately, sending pleasant shivers up his arm.

"Then what's wrong, love?" She cooed, searching his eyes for answers.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," He began, licking his lips nervously.

"Well that's dangerous," Mary giggled, then quickly silenced at John's serious look. "God, sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood. You are so stiff, dear, and we're here to celebrate New Year's!"

"I know, I just..." He stammered. "I want to talk to you about something. 

"I'm all ears," She said, sitting up straight like an eager schoolchild.

John took a deep, shaky breath. "When I first met you, I was just a dead man walking. It was kinda funny, you literally crashing into my life. You found me, Mary, and... I owe you so much. You took this old heart and made it new again. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

"So," he shakily descended on one knee, fumbling in his pocket for the small velvet box. He finally mangaged to open it, the diamond ring nearly blinding him. "Will you marry me?"

Mary's hands flew up to her mouth in shock. "Oh, John," she gasped, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Of course I will," A deep voice rumbled behind John. "But that ring is hideous."

John felt like his intestines were in a twist. The amused voice, so sickeningly familiar, was impossible. The voice that called to him with cries of help, leading him to empty rooms and barren streets. The voice that muttered in the wind every night, tapping on his windows until break of day. The impossible voice of an impossible man.

"Please... please say you didn't hear anything," John pleaded, praying he was just hallucinating. 

Yet Mary was fixated on something behind him, her mouth open in astonishment. John's perspiration froze as chills climbed up his spine.

"Oh, God. No," he breathed, willing himself to turn around.

"Hello, John."