Be My First // Grethan

Be My First

The bright and hot spotlights are scorching Ethan's skin, making him sweat. Outstretched hands are reaching forward to him and his twin brother, screaming inaudible things at them, the young girl's eyes filled with tears. They've reached the part of their show where it's time for the Q&A's. The big screen behind them lights up, showing a picture of a tweet with the first question.

Grayson clears his throat and reads the question aloud: "when was your last kiss and who was it with?"

Ethan's hands are becoming moist with sweat. He's never kissed anyone before. He's hesitant if he wants to answer this question, but if he doesn't the fans will get suspicious. Grayson turns to face the crowd again as he answers his part of the question.

"If it counts, my last kiss was with my mom at the airport back home in New Jersey," Grayson says, his hands resting in his lap. "We said goodbye before Ethan and I left for this tour."

The fans 'aww' at Grayson's answer. He looks over at Ethan, signalizing that it's his turn to answer. Ethan's eyes roam over the crowd of his fans. How will they react when he admits that he has never kissed anyone before?

"I...uhm," Ethan says, his mouth getting dry.

"Go on, Ethan. The fans are waiting," Grayson pushes.

"I...uh," Ethan clears his throat, "I have never kissed anyone before."

The crowd goes quiet for a second that feels like an eternity, before laughter fills the room. Embarrassment fills his body and he can feel his cheeks getting flushed. Sometimes it's better to stay quiet, but he can't take back what he said now. It's already out there – the fans now know and it'll spread online within a few minutes seeing that all of them are recording this Q&A with their mobile phones.

Ethan picks up comments coming from the people standing closest to the stage.

"He's frickin' 16 and hasn't kissed anyone?"

"He's probably too shy to kiss anyone."

"No one wants to kiss him, what a loser."

Ethan knows what they are saying is true. A lump appears in his throat, forcing tears to come. He can't cry on stage. He can't show weakness; the fans will only laugh at him more, then.

"Ignore them, Ethan," Grayson says next to him, resting a calming hand on his back.

Ethan nods and looks at the screen behind him where the next question has appeared.

"Let's move on," he says, his voice cracking.

***

Ethan brushes a hand through his hair before plopping down on the hotel bed. The rest of the show went by quickly to his relief. He couldn't stop thinking about the fans' reaction when he admitted his most embarrassing secret. Their laughter is still ringing in his ears, but he can't shut them out. Not even with his palms pressed against his ears; the laughter is still there, not leaving him alone.

He sighs from where he lays in the middle of the king sized bed. He can hear Grayson fumbling with something in the bathroom, the light shining through the crack of the door frame and into the dark hotel room. Ethan pulls out his phone from the front pocket of his jeans, unlocking it. His finger taps the Twitter icon. He prepares himself for what he'll see when he scrolls through his feed after tonight's show. He furrows his brows while reading the first ones. All of them are negative, not showing any support to Ethan. What did he expect, anyways, when the fans reacted the way they did?

The lump in his throat is coming back, the tears once again fighting their way out of his eyes. He shuts his phone off and throws it off the bed, not caring if the screen cracks. Grayson's head peeks out of the bathroom by the sound of the phone hitting the carpet floor.