Eighteen- Grief

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Late Sunday evening we all drove back home. It was bittersweet having to leave the shack, only to return back to school. The weekend had been over far too quickly. It had been such a good weekend and once it was over I was sad again. But then that sadness was quickly replaced once I arrived home and saw Jackson sitting on the couch eating an orange.

Lauren and I hadn't had another... encounter, like we had on Saturday night. However, we did have a few stolen kisses and there were subtle touches and some more than obvious flirting. The other girls kept eyeing us skeptically. I'm sure they're not convinced we're not dating. But we really aren't. I don't know what we are. We both told each other we liked each other but neither of us have done anything about it. We've just sort of been... Avoiding the topic maybe? I'm not sure. Things have never been better between us though. We're both not awkward about anything, which I'm thankful for. Especially after Saturday night. Lauren had gone back to her house on Sunday night, giving me a bit of time just with my family.

It was now Monday morning and after spending a night cuddled up with Jackson watching Disney movies, I now had to leave him once again. The boy was sad that I had to leave him again for the day but I promised him that I would spend the night with him and only him. I almost decided to take the day off school just to spend it with him, but dad had told me that wasn't an option.

After leaving a sad Jackson, I headed to school. This was our last week of actual school work before our final exams. Then once exams were over, it was graduation preparation. Luckily for me, I only have three exams I have to sit. One for psychology, chemistry and maths, they're all compulsory exams. All my other subjects don't require exams to pass. The only reason you'd have to do an exam in those subjects is if you're failing the class, it's your chance to redeem yourself. But I've already been told I'm passing everything so there's no need for me to sit them. This week is revision week for the most part, just making sure we're prepared for exam week. 

When I arrived at school, my friends weren't waiting outside like they normally would be. I just assumed they'd be inside already. After parking my car I starting walking to my first class of the day. I heard someone call out behind me so I looked over my shoulder to see who it was, it was Joel. Joel... What do I do about him? He's a nice guy, but I don't see myself going anywhere with him. And now that Lauren and I have this... Flirting? Whatever we are anyway... I would have to stop that if I actually dated Joel. I don't know what to do.

"Good morning!" Joel smiled happily.

"Morning, Joel." I smiled back.

"How was your weekend away?" He asked. A little bit of a blush spread across my face as I thought of my moments with Lauren.

"It was great, the girls and I had a great time." I said, trying to forget about the way Lauren had her body pressed to mine.

"Ah I'm glad. So I was sort of wondering about that second date?" Joel asked, doing that thing where he rubs the back of his neck, showing his nerves.

"Oh yeah, right." I said. Oh god what do I do? There's a perfectly nice guy standing in front of me, asking about a second date, but here I am thinking about Lauren.

"Well um, that film festival is still on and there's a really good movie playing tonight, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me?" Joel asked. Oh no, why'd he have to say tonight? I promised Jackson that I'd spend tonight with him! Joel's going to think that I'm just straight up rejecting him now. Am I though? Maybe I am...

"Joel, I'm so sorry to say no again, but I promised my brother I would spend the night with him. Since he's come back I've spent almost no time with him and he was practically in tears this morning at the fact I even had to leave for school." Surely he'd understand, I'm sure he'd do the same for his sister.

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