FIFTY SHADES OF THEO JAMES

Chapter 12

We sat on the beach in silence watching as the waves rolled in and out. I even went for a bit of a swim before I soaked in the remainder of the sun before the sky turned to overcast. Then the wind began to pick up so we went back to the house where I went and ran myself a bath. I was in the middle of bathing when Theo came walking in.

"Woah, what in the hell!" I hastily scooped bubbles around myself in an attempt to use them as cover. "I'm bathing in here."

"Exactly why I am here. You are in one of your most vulnerable states and I am about to place myself in mine."

I shot him a mean look. "What are you even talking about. Theo, can I please finish my bath in peace?"

 He took a seat on the edge of the tub.  "Listen. We need to have this conversation, the sooner the better."

"What conversation?"

"Coping mechanism for dealing." He leaned forward slightly. "Have you ever heard of bdsm?"

I rose an eyebrow to him. "Yes, I tried it with an old fwb before and it didn't work out because there wasn't a good level of trust between us."

"Well, that is my outlet. It's how I cope with having no control in that part of my life. If you continue on with this arrangement between us I would expect you to join me as my dominant."

I picked up my loofah and squeezed some soap onto it before I began scrubbing my arms. This dominant thing was just another role I would be expected to fulfill. Yet, the million dollar question was, could I do it?

"When do I start, sir?" I replied sarcastically.

He rose to his feet and glanced around the bathroom. "We will discuss the finer details at a later time. It will take several days to iron out the details. Enjoy the rest of your bath." He said and then left me to my own.

I finished bathing myself with the Victoria's secret love spell body wash and then took my time doing my hair. The temperature regulator for the bathtub kept the water super warm and the bath oils and salts relaxed me. There were so many Lush bath bombs to choose from that I just dropped them in at random. 

Taking a wash cloth I dipped it in the warm water and put it over my eyes before I let my head fall back against the plush pillow.

So Theo wanted me to take part in his bdsm lifestyle as his submissive. Part of me didn't want to because of the level of trust it would need in order to make this work which would require me to allow myself to feel some sort of way for him.  But then again I needed it. The pain I felt on the daily from losing my sisters could only be soothed by another sort of pain.

That was how I was introduced into this world to begin with. I was so desperate for relief that I didn't take into consideration that the guy I practiced with had no respect or care about my needs and wants. In the end it turned out to be an abusive relationship - or so my therapist explained.

But I knew that Theo would never do wrong by me. In fact he constantly reminded me that my happiness very important for this between us to work. So I needed to trust him.

After I finished my bath I pulled on some lounge wear and headed downstairs to begin dinner. It was a simple meal, but it definitely hit the spot.

"Shai text me earlier." I began as I pulled another corn on the cob onto my plate.

"What about?" Theo asked.

"She was wondering if I'd like to go out with her and Zoe tomorrow and do girl things like go shopping and getting our nails done."

"And you said yes, I assume."

I shook my head. "I haven't even responded yet. What am I suppose to say. She's probably going to be trying to get all the details about us while we are out."