Twenty One

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"Syn."

"Not yet, Lullaby."

"It's been a week."

"We haven't left the compound."

"You don't want to tell me."

"You're right," she said. "I don't."

"Why, Syn? I've got a distraught Ant on my hands. You haven't spoken to him since you convinced him he'd murdered a flower. Hell, you haven't spoken to me since then. Not in any way that counts."

"I can't," she said. "I can't tell you. It's... it's something I've been thinking about."

"What's wrong with you, Synapse? What the hell is wrong with you?"

She turned away.

"Look at me. Damn it, Syn. Look at me! Whatever it is. I don't know why you're afraid to tell me. Hell, I don't even care. I'm here for you. Ant's here for you. I'm your partner. I'm your family, Synapse."

"Don't say that."

"What?"

"Just don't... don't..." She breathed deeply and pulled away from him, and started walking away. "Keep Ant sane, okay? I'll figure this out. And once I do, I'll come back to you both. It'll be like it was before."

"If you keep pushing us away, how can you be sure? We need you, and you need us. Don't mess our family up, Syn."

"Don't say that. Don't say that." She shook her head. "Once I figure it out, you'll understand. But I have to keep you safe. If I mess something up, I'm going down alone. I'm not taking you with me."

"That's not how it works," Lullaby told her. "When you go down, so do we. All of our missions together. We were equally on the line."

"I know," she said. "I know, but this is different. I can't explain it to you, Lull. You have to trust me."

"I don't know if I can anymore."

A slap in the face, maybe, but one she deserved. So she said nothing. And she stood and she walked away.

He watched her go, and said nothing.

I hope I'm right, she thought. I hope this really is something I have to do and something I can't risk including them in.

And then she went and she disabled the camera by the gallows. A minute later and she was met with Peter's smile again.

"Abigail."

"Call me Synapse, Peter."

"Then you have to call me Listener."

She smiled. "Your name was always ridiculous."

"There's that Abigail smile."

"Abigail is dead," she told him. "Let's get straight to the point this time. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Fine," he said. "I'll help you. I can see now that my attempts at conversation this week have done nothing but irritate you."

She nodded. "So. I need to know. Why did you start the little mutiny?"

"You know."

"I want to know the real reason."

He laughed. "I can't get anything past you. It's almost like you can read my mind."

"Very funny," she said, studying him. "Yes, you're the one who's got an advantage here, if you really don't want to tell me. But I don't believe that you don't."

He nodded. "You know about how we were born?"

"Enough. It's not relevant to what I want to know, is it?"

"It's not, but I think you should know it. Why we were made."

She studied his face. "I don't want to know."

He nodded slowly. "I thought you'd say that. If you ever want me to tell you, I will. You deserve to know why you exist, after all."

"Like I said, I know enough. I'm not Abigail anymore, Peter. I never was."

"To me you were. You still are."

"You haven't talked to me in eleven years."

"But you're still my sister."

"A sentimental attachment. It means nothing."

"You've replaced me. You've built a new family, haven't you, Synapase?"

"Don't pry into my thoughts about them. You're stalling again. Tell me, why does the government let the revolution stay alive?"

"The fact that you asked me tells me you almost know the answer already."

"I'm sure reading my mind helped you figure that out."

"Yeah."

"So?"

"It's a difficult question. There's a reason that when I started my 'little mutiny' as you call it, I didn't tell anyone about it. Even though I would have gotten more support for my cause."

"You didn't even tell me," she said quietly.

"I didn't know the full extent of it, then."

"But you do now?"

"I know more now. I won't say I know everything."

"Then tell me," she said.

He nodded. "Okay. The government built the revolution to keep all of its enemies in one place at first."

"I know that much," she said. "But they're doing something else now, aren't they?"

He nodded. But then his expression changed and he sighed. "Someone's coming. put me back. I'll tell you tomorrow, I promise."

She grimaced. "I'm running out of time, Peter. Lullaby's..." But she did it, and she slipped out of sight and returned to her cell.

"Synapse?" Ant's voice came.

Her irritation melted away and she froze. "Ant."

"Lullaby says you're having a mental breakdown."

She laughed. "Lullaby's been very blunt with you then."

"Is it because of the flower? I didn't mean to, Synapse. I promise. I didn't know it would die. I'm sorry, I..."

"Shh. It isn't because of the flower."

"Oh," he said. "Why, then?"

"It's for a reason I can't tell you. It's not your fault, dear."

"I think you've been scary ever since the flower."

"It started before the flower."

"Your mission?"

"Yes, my mission."

"How come?"

She bent down and met his gaze. "A lot of people died on that mission, Ant."

"But you and Lullaby and Siren came back alright."

"Yes, we're okay. But the people we were fighting might not be."

"But they're the bad guys."

"Yeah," Synapse said quietly. "Yeah, they're the bad guys."

"You're one of the good guys, aren't you, Syn?"  

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