"I forgive you." I whisper against his parted lips before going back to kissing him again. You never realize how much you miss something and someone until you lose them or the opportunity to do it. In my situation, I knew how much I'd miss Josh. I knew how much I'd miss his touch and his hold that he always protectively and possessively had on me. I knew I'd miss his kisses and his love, and I think that made the situation so much worse.
Even though I knew all of that, it did nothing to compare to the emptiness I had felt inside of me the past couple of days. This mate business is no joke. The Moon Goddess wants you together, and makes it incredibly painful if you don't comply to her demands. She's pretty controlling when you sit down and think about it. Goddess, if Maya from the beginning of the school year were to see me now, she's be incredibly disappointed that I had let this male consume every part of my being. I put everything into this kiss. Everything I've felt the past few days; how much I miss him, all my love, all my anger and resentment, my loneliness. And he does the same, the contempt he holds for himself and the hate he's feeling. His kiss is almost painful... almost. Josh is just gentle enough to drown me in lust, the exact opposite thing I should be thinking or drowning in. We should really discuss everything from the past couple of days, but the fact that he is now inside me has my mind virtually clouded.
Here we are. A couple of werewolves making love on the forest floor, next to a creek and not once have our lips fell from one another. One of his hands move to lift my leg and wrap it around his waist, I refuse to be on top right now. He can do all the work, that can be part of his punishment. My nails are clawing his back as he greedily swallows my moans. "I love you so much, Maya." Josh whispers. "I missed you so much, I am so fucking sorry."
My hands hold his face as he thrusts into me again, "I love you." It doesn't take either one of us long to finish. It wasn't like he was taking his time, and I haven't felt this happy in days so I was greedily taking everything I could get. When he does, we just lie there together. My fingers are tangled in his hair; our bodies have a thin coat of sweat layered upon it. His face is buried into my neck as we both work to catch our breath. I have no idea how long we laid there, and I didn't quite care because in this moment things were perfect. We weren't fighting, we weren't crying or hurting because we were in one another's arms. For the first time in a week, I've felt content and secure... dare I say, happy? I'm afraid if I think that, everything will come crashing down. I've never really been truly happy, because of the whole Kermit trying to kill – no torture – me, and Thomas trying to marry me thing. So the underlying emotion of fear was always there and present, I just never made it known. "You're enough for me."
That's the one thing I want him to know, that he is more than enough, more than I deserve and it isn't fair that I've let him think otherwise. Because I know how that feels. I know how it feels to never do anything right, to never be good enough. I was never good enough for Kermit, he'd always find reasons to punish me. I was never strong enough to protect my mother, because in the end whenever he'd finish with his cruel and unusual punishment, my mom would still cry. I wasn't a good enough Luna, bringing war upon my pack within the first week of being inducted. It's truly an emotion I am more than familiar with so I understand how much it sucks. I feel warm water tricking down my shoulder and I am aware that he is crying. I tighten the hold I have on his neck in an effort to comfort him. "I'm such a dick, Maya. I know that, but please don't leave me." Josh sobs into my shoulder causing tears to well up in my eyes.
"I'm not going to leave you, Josh. I won't ever leave you. If I was going to leave you it would have been the moment you walked away from me."
It would have been so easy to run away from everything. But the Twilight pack is my home, it's where my wolf and I belong and a good portion of that is because Josh was there. Even though we weren't speaking, trying to catch glimpses of him was pretty exhilarating. My mate's hold on me tightens as he pulls out of the junction of my shoulder and neck. His orbs are wild and frantic as they turn darker, Jax is coming to light. "No. We wouldn't have let you leave. I wouldn't have let you go."
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Arrogant Alpha. Joshaya.Fanfiction
Maya is a rogue and left her pack willingly when she was 12 years old. After 6 years of living alone and being content with that, but after the 'Sapiente Wolves' pass a law that anyone 18 and under has to attend school no matter your pack status thi...