Live For Me {BoyxBoy}

Breaking the Silence

Jamie

Garrett and I had rushed to the hospital. I hated Taven, but I never wished for something to send him to the hospital... We waited in the waiting room for a while before we were allowed inside. To my horror, I watched as two nurses carried blood soaked sheets and a hospital gown. Taven was bleeding so much...

I shakily limped inside, coming face to face with an exhausted-looking Taven lying on the hospital bed. He looked like I did-- weak and pitiful. 

"Hey, bud... How are you feeling?" Garrett sat down beside Taven and placed a hand on one of Taven's. My stomach churned at the sight of Taven's dried, blood stained lips. Don't tell me he was vomiting... 

"L-Like shit..." He croaked, a fit of coughs following his words. I wanted to tell him to stop pushing himself. He looked like he was in so much pain. My body flinched when I heard him hack up something. I couldn't bring myself to look at his palm, fearful I would see blood. "J-Jamie...?" His voice rasped. His voice sounded so hopeful, it paralyzed me. Why was he so happy to see me? 

He was hacking up his life and he was happy to see me. 

I didn't want to turn around. I didn't want to face him...

"Ja--" Another harsh fit of coughing. 

"Jamie, he wants to see you." Garrett stood and came to my side. "He's your friend. You should be at his side..." All I could focus on was Taven's coughing. He sounded like he really was dying... "He needs your support."

My support?! He fucking beat me and bullied me, and I was supposed to support him?! Avery told me I needed to stand up for myself and tell Garrett... 

"Garrett. Can I talk to you outside first?" I looked up at the only father-figure I've ever had, biting my lip. I was about to break the entire group... And maybe even kick Taven out. I grabbed Garrett's sleeve and tugged him out. I glanced back at the boy in the hospital bed, and his hopeful eyes watched us pass through the doorway. 

Near the bathrooms a few doors away from Taven's room, I stopped us, my hands shaking. Garrett deserved to know... He deserved to know who beat me up and nearly killed me. He deserved to know who had made me miserable. 

"What's wrong, J? You're acting like you don't even like Taven..." Garrett's face held confusion and concern. 

"Th-There's something I have to tell you..." I whispered, my eyes watching my shoes against the tiled hospital floor. "S-Something I should've t-told you a-a long time ago...." Tears filled my eyes as I took in a deep shaky breath. I wasn't ready to ruin everything. "T-Taven is the one who... Who beat me up." Tears slipped down my cheeks. "He was the one..." 

Everything stood still, and all I could hear was my pounding heartbeat in my ears. Timidly, I glanced up at Garrett beneath my lashes, biting my tongue. He looked so pissed. Betrayed. 

"Are you telling the truth, Jamie?" All I could do was nod. I watched Garrett become ever so quiet before he turned and walked back into Taven's room. I shakily walked to the doorway and peeked in, watching Garrett stand at the foot of Taven's bed with his fists clenched tightly. 

"H-Hey," Taven offered a small smile. "Wh-What's up...?"

"You're no longer a part of our family." Garrett snapped, his eyes narrow. "Family does not beat up family. You betrayed my trust. You're dead to me." I watched Taven's eyes widen in horror. His expression broke under the weight of Garrett's words. He was being exiled... 

"Wa-Wait, Garrett! I-I can--" Taven began hacking again, blood splattering onto the sheet that was draped over his body. 

"You're lucky you're already in the hospital," Garrett growled angrily. "Or else I would have been the one to put you in here. If you ever come near me, Jamie, or the others, I will kill you. Got it?" All Taven could do was nod while tears filled his eyes. "I said, got it?!" Garrett yelled, grabbing the front of Taven's hospital gown and forcing him forward. 

"Y-Yes!" Taven rasped, his hands instantly shooting up in front of his face to protect himself. 

"Good. I hope you rot in hell." And with that, he stormed out, grabbing my arm in the process. "Let's go."

"W-Wait! Garrett, I--" 

"We're leaving." He snapped at me, making my body flinch. He never talked to me that way. Painfully, I turned away from Taven, who was now sobbing and continuing to cough up blood, following Garrett right at his heels. I wanted to talk to Taven...

And to do that, I guess I'll just have to sneak out. 

[-----]

Around 9pm, I snuck out of the apartments, slowly making my way to the hospital. Taven got what he deserved... But I still worried for him. He had no one, just like I did. I don't want that for anybody... 

After entering the hospital, it didn't take me long to convince the nurses to let me inside Taven's room, since visiting hours had ended a long while ago. I just had to lie and pretend Taven was my boyfriend. I quietly walked into Taven's hospital room, gently shutting the door behind me. Behind the curtain, I could hear Taven having a hard time breathing. It sounded raspy and bubbly, like he couldn't breathe without blood pouring from his mouth. It was like he was drowning...

"Taven?" I whispered softly. 

"Wh-Wha..." 

"It's me... Jamie." I slowly pulled back the curtain, and to my horror, saw Taven covered in crimson splatters. "Oh, my god..." I breathed, my eyes wide. "Taven..."

"I-It's okay," he offered a pain filled smile. "I'm okay..."

"How can you say that?! Look at you!" 

"You're worried for me..." Taven looked away, but still had his sad smile plastered on his face. He was trying to hide his pain. "I'm so sorry, Jamie... For everything."

"Taven, don't worry--"

"No. Let me finish." Taven sniffled, his bottom lip quivering. "I-I... I'm so sorry I put you through so much hell... M-My father was abusive and I didn't know how to handle it..." His eyes flicked back over to me. "B-But that's not an excuse. I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would." Tears filled my own eyes as he spoke. He was in so much pain... An abusive father... 

"Stop... That's in the past... Look at you..." I slowly made my way to the side of his bed, a metallic scent filling my nose. Blood... 

"I won't stop. I have to get this out. This is probably the last chance I'll have to talk to you." Tears continued to slide down his cheeks. I nearly hugged him when his eyes made contact with mine. "Jamie... I'm so sorry... For everything I put you through. I can't imagine how you felt, but I think what I'm going through now might be close..." He began coughing again, blood dripping off of his bottom lip. "You of all people didn't deserve what I did to you..." 

"Taven. Stop." Tears fell against my hands that were resting on Taven's cot. "Stop apologizing..." 

"No! I can't! I'm fucking dying and this will be the last time I will ever see the love of my life!!" He grabbed one of my hands and began kissing the back of it, leaving bloody lip prints. "I love you... I love you so fucking much, you'll never understand... I know you don't believe me, but you're the only reason I have to live anymore. Without you, I'm nothing... I love you... I love you..." Taven began sobbing against my hand, his body trembling violently. I had never seen anyone release this much emotion... 

"Taven..." I whimpered. "Taven look at me..." He had to be telling the truth... And I was the one killing him. After a few silent moments, Taven gathered the courage to look up at me. His eyes were glazed over, truly exposing how close he was to dying. Without any hesitation, I leaned down, my lips mere centimeters from his. "I forgive you." And I kissed him, the boy who loved me that I could never love back.