I'm frozen. She pulled away. For a moment, she had me believing she might actually have feelings for me, like I do for her. But it was clear that she doesn't.
I can't stand here any longer, completely mortified. "I- I should go tell Octavia that I'm cleared," I say, looking at her one last time before leaving the tent. Oh my God, it's my tent, why am I leaving?
Cringing, I go towards Octavia. She and I didn't agree on the thing with the Grounder, but we've moved past it. All our lives, we're all each other had. Even though I now (sort of) have Clarke, and she has the Grounder, we were family.
"Did Clarke tell you I'm cleared?" I ask as I approach her.
"No, but I did see her sprint from the drop ship to your tent. I thought it was about something else, though." She shrugs carelessly.
"What did you think it was?" I ask a little too quickly.
"I don't know," she says. "It was just the look on her face."
I don't think it's a good idea to keep questioning her. Octavia knows me better than anyone, she would figure it out right away.
"Okay..." I say. "Anyway, I'm cleared," I repeat.
She breaks into a smile. "I'm really happy for you," she says, finally acknowledging my original statement.
I'm about to hug her when I feel a tap on my back and hear Clarke's voice say, "Hey, Octavia? Can I talk to Bellamy for a minute?"
"Sure!" Octavia says all too willingly as she walks away.
I don't turn around to face Clarke, I just let her walk to where Octavia was standing. Her eyes are filled with emotion, so I don't look at them.
"Bellamy..." she starts, and gently reaches for my hand.
I yank it away. We're in the middle of camp and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Or the right one.
"We need to talk," she says.
"I'm pretty sure we're done talking," I tell her, meeting her gaze.
She has her desperate face on. Man, that face is good. It almost makes me want to give in.
"No, we're not," she says. "Can we-"
Finn appears in between us. "I need to talk to you," he says to Clarke, as if we weren't in the middle of a conversation.
That's it. "She's all yours," I say, then walk away, ignoring Clarke calling my name.
"What, Finn?" I ask as soon as I give up on trying to get Bellamy to come back.
"We need to talk about us," Finn says.
I roll my eyes. "There's nothing to talk about," I say. I am so sick of having this conversation with him.
"I've broken up with Raven," he tells me.
My eyes widen. "Why would you do that?"
"For you," he says simply. "She knows I have feelings for you, and that we just weren't working together anymore."
"Finn, I don't want to be with you," I say, letting out a breath. "You have to respect that or I'm not even going to want to be your friend."
His face falls. I can't believe that it's news to him.
"Okay," he says, finally. "I'll leave you alone."
He starts to walk away but I catch his arm. "Finn, we can talk, okay? Just without feelings."
He looks up at me. "I don't think I can just be your friend," he says, and continues to walk off.
I'm left dumbfounded. I evidently just lost both Bellamy and Finn in the two minutes. I don't want Finn, though, I want Bellamy, but I can't have him now.
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