Write Better: Tips and tricks

How much description is too much?

2. What is important about it? AKA: Describe your scene/object/whatever in a way that's relevant to the story.

Maybe the kitchen sets the mood for a horror story. Think about what would be noticed: innocent things that take on a more ominous tone, like the knife block or the softly swinging lower cabinet door Now picture the kitchen in a romantic comedy involving a baker. Do we need the knife block? We might be focusing on the personality of the kitchen's owner instead of the scene. It's a mess like she is. So when you're describing the kitchen, you frame it in the protagonist's personality instead.

Let's say we have a side character. A ticket attendant at a country fair. They're only present for one chapter. What do you describe? Well, what's important about them? The attendant who is a murder suspect should have a different focus then the attendant who just comments that the protag is a lucky lady to have such a handsome date.

Heck, if we have a chase scene and your character just runs through a palace kitchen to escape outside, we don't need the same level of detail that Jurassic Park does when the kids are hiding from the raptors.

3. What's unusual about your kitchen? Lots of readers remember unique details. Lots of people naturally observe unique details and they fill in the rest. You don't need many. Just a few will do.

Take the baker's kitchen. In her rundown apartment above her struggling bakery, Melanie's kitchen is always filled with the smell of warm chocolate...from baking chips melting beside a purring radiator. Later, her well-off sister runs her finger over the powdery sheen of the countertop and asks Mel if she's finally cooked up a scheme to pay for a maid.

We still know it's a kitchen. We still know it's a mess, but now we know what make it Mel's kitchen.

Tip: Build off what the average reader should know. In Mel's case, the color and style of the countertop doesn't matter. I'm focusing on the fact that she's messy and broke and her sister isn't. In this case, it's not the description of a counter that matters; readers can picture that. When your story is made into a movie, you can tell the director you always thought it was blue laminate. What matters in the writing here is what's on the counter and how that looks.

Obviously what does/doesn't matter changes with every scene and situation. There are times you want the color, other times you want the flour, and some where you want both. A lot depends on the writing and what you're accomplishing in the scene.

4. Does description slow the scene? Sometimes, more detail is nice but there's no goshdarn place to put it.

I do this all the time. I learn all kinds of stuff for my stories and I can't use all of it because there's no where for it in the story. This can be the worst kind of description to realize, because you know it doesn't really belong but you want it in there.

Slowing a scene can be crucial in using pace smartly, but you do want to try and make sure that you're writing a story where you aren't interrupting the natural flow.

5. If the reader never knew this detail, how would it impact the story?

There are many reasons why we include details. Now think about your reasons for this description. It can be as simple as considering whether or not to eliminate or include an extra adjective or as big as adding an entire scene. 

When I edit, one of the things I always look for are left/right. In my first drafts I tend to be too specific. I realize that a lot of those details don't really matter and sometimes get confusing.

In Dark Side, a cat bites someone's right thumb. The character makes a note of it, after which the physical thumb injury has no further impact on the story (what mattered in that scene was the bite/showing that the cat disliked him). I killed 'right' in my edits because the detail wasn't needed. Knowing which hand really doesn't help that particular scene or future scenes. 

Meanwhile, in Run Cold, the protagonist is shot in her shoulder. She has surgery and scars and still feels pain there in the next book. In her case, side matters. 

6. When I'm reading my own story and I get to the descriptive part(s), do I actually read it all or do I skip it?

Yes, you know what it says. But if you're editing, you should still be reading it with everything else. If you find yourself going, "okay, that's the description of the house/Bob/the moon/whatever" and you skim down to the next paragraph, there's a good chance some of your readers will do the same. You are your own biggest fan after all. If even you, you wonderful author you, don't want to sit through the description, why should your readers? 

Note: if this is your final round of edits and you're just breezing through, or you've already spent five hours perfecting that spot, it's okay to skip. 

7. Does adding more description add to the story?

Let's say that the kind of soda in the fridge doesn't matter. It doesn't really impact the story. But what if we're at the start of a story and we're trying to create a specific time frame? It's possible we want the kid to reach inside the fridge and grab him and his friends some Hi-C Ecto Coolers.

This goes back to asking what's unusual and important to your story.

8. Did I already explain enough?

Using the above questions, you should be able to determine the answer to this question.

9. What does the narrator know?/Would the narrator describe that?/Would they describe that to my audience?

Figure out who your narrator is, whether you are in third or first person. First person often has a few extra limitations here for obvious reasons. Your sixteen year old protag might not plausibly know the detail you want to include. Think about about what your narrator would focus on and want to describe. What are they capable of describing?

Sure, that creepy statue might be cool for mood, but if your protag is running for her life, is she really going to notice it for three sentences?

Next, think about your audience. Is the detail in question something your narrator would want to show your general audience? Does your general audience care?

These are just a few questions you can ask yourself if you're ever on the fence about whether or not you need more or less description!

And remember: Description doesn't have to be its own paragraph! You don't need to stop the story to describe! When you integrate description throughout your scene/chapter/story, you can paint a strong picture!