THE GLUM CHUM
She was so glum.
So glum, she died.
For she had been pied
After she'd lied
To the frog
Who lived in a bog
And sat on a log
With Missus Maley,
Who liked to preach
To the chunk of air
That stuck to her hair
Without a care
And so the Glum Chum removed it
With a lot of grit.
Even though she was supposedly dead-
Although, that was all in her head
Because she hadn't died,
Although she had been pied
In the face
By a frog gripping a mace.
The same Frog
Living in a bog.
Frog liked cheese on egg,
Especially when she stuck out her leg
And fried the egg on it
Whilst wearing a mitt,
That had been embroidered rather nicely
By old lady Micely,
A mouse who couldn't English quite well,
Having been brought up in a bell,
And therefore being hard of hearing
Especially after seeing sheep-shearing.
So, of course this was trauma to her,
Because she thought sheep had fur
And so feared
That she herself would be sheared
By a gruff old grump
Who'd often let out trumps.
She didn't have to worry, said a fat crow,
Although the crow wasn't being nice
It was just trying to shut up the mice in rice
In a cooker, to eat Micely in stew
With a tough gangsta crew
Made up of dumplings
Also known as The Rumplings.
They ate a number of beef's rumps,
Though it all went flying, for they had reached bumps
So the car was now somehow curving,
Trying to avoid the Glum Chum
Who stuck out like a sore thumb,
With all her dark storm clouds of angst and negative energy.
The Rumplings recovered from their dismay for not finding anything that rhymed, but were shocked once again,
Along with the frightened hen,
For they discovered...
After finding a 'dolla'.
The Glum Chum was Rebekah.