Chapter 2 Dim.

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Hours, days, and weeks skipped by. The bubbly teenager known as Faith Jones was slowly dimming inside.

After constantly ignoring Brett, we began to fade apart until we finally split. He's on he's own now doing who knows what. Haven't spoke to him in exactly two weeks. He apologized for everything he'd done but lord knows if I'll ever be able to look that boy in the eyes and take him seriously ever again.

I still missed him though.

No, I didn't want to talk to him, or know how his family was doing, or how his summer was coming along.

I guess I just missed the thought of him.

The old him.

Because we the old him left and became a monster, a part of me left too.

The one that completely warped my brain because I was so head over heals in l-o-v-e with him. (Warped my brain in a good way of course)

My family and friends had still yet to know of anything that REALLY went down between us. He was the bad guy. And sure I wanted him to get the ass load of karma he deserved by exposing him, but something inside of me couldn't break out and let everyone know what was really going on.

I just hated even bringing any of that stuff up or thinking about it for a split second. It engulfed my brain and heart with horrid memories that still make me shake.

And no matter how much I faked it on the outside, I wasn't okay anymore.

2am had a whole different meaning to it now than what it used to.

It used to be spent in the arms of Brett while every so often his fingers would slowly run down my back as he pulled me in for a peck on the neck.

Now, it's spent cried to sleep. Sometimes lying on the bathroom floor. Bloody Razor clutched in one hand while the red liquid gushes from my arms and legs. And sometimes even every place in reach.

My mind is always racing and at 2am the lonely darkness of the room creeps up on me heavier and rougher than ever before.

No one knew about my life behind closed doors.

Becky accepted the fact that Brett and I were no longer together and didn't really question it. It was probably just her being polite. Although, before we officially split and because I could sense Brett and I breaking up in the near future, I did what I had to do. Overtime, I filled her up with some lies about how we were drifting. She was sad but she respected what I had to say. She was probably just worried about how this would affect us all as friends like I was. I knew the way she thought.

But however with Shane, it was a different story. Which I assumed it would be in every way. He was the type of guy that got all up in your grill and NEEDED to be informed on every detail.

He was smart too. Real smart.

I could sense he knew that there was more that happened to Brett and I than just 'drifting'. He was curious. I could see it in his eye every time Brett and me were in the same sentence together.

Together wise as a whole, our friendship was a little dented like I thought it would be and it sucked. It was the last thing I wanted to happen. I couldn't help but feel like this whole thing was all my fault. It was not worth losing some of the greatest people in my life. Even Shane and Brett stopped hanging out as much as usual. Shane was never around anymore and that made me want to cry because Shane and him had been friends since preschool and if Brett didn't know what was going on with Shane, no one did.

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