If It Means A Lot To You (On Hold)

Parties&Piercings

Alex used to throw a lot of parties. You would hear about them, even weeks after they'd happened. You would hear about who-did-what-with-who, and who drank to much and did something embarrassing. But mostly you would hear that although Alex threw all these great parties, he never came from his room to join the party. He basically just invited people to come to his house and have a good time, while he locked himself away.

I always thought it was to keep people guessing, because that was always his role. His little mind game.

I was invited. Once. After our first...er...date, he asked if i had time that Saturday night to come to his party. He said if i got bored with all of the nonsense of the party, i could just escape and go hang out with him. And i'll tell you this, i got bored pretty fast.

I sidestep past small groups of people spread out on the lawn. Girls who look like they haven't eaten before cradling cigarettes, and another of brawny boys daring each other to do dumb things while drunk. The final group before i reach the door is three boys, one on each arm of the boy who is dry heaving on the lawn. I make a face, before i quickly walk up the steps and pull open the door. My nose is assaulted with odors of alcohol, sweat, urine, (i don't want to know why) and others that i can't name. I push past the people, making sure Alex isn't in the crowd for some odd reason. A girl with strawberry hair and huge green eyes dances by, handing me a red plastic cup filled with some vile liquid.

"Drink up!" She shouts, her own cup in her hand tilted and she pours a little on the carpet. Ew. "It'll take the edge off! Oopsie!" She giggles and dances away. I place the cup on the nearest table and try to find Alex's room. I would be fine, if his house wasn't brimming with hormonal teenagers. Okay, calm down. Breathe. I accidentally run into another girl with short black hair and a lot of piercings and eye makeup.

"Not your scene, is it girly?" She asks, a small side smile on her face. I let out a nervous laugh.

"How can you tell?"

"Well, for one, your completely sober. Clearly. Two, you look lost. Three, you still have your coat on. Anyone who wears a coat to a party evidentially hasn't been to many parties. Maybe you should just go home, girly."

"I'm just trying to find Alex, thanks."

"Oh honey, you ain't gonna sink that ship tonight. He's locked up in his room. Like always."

"Alright. Thank you."

I act grateful, then walk past her and head for the kitchen. If i can find that, i can find the hallway and make it to his room. The kitchen is easy. The hallway is even easier. Which door was his room again? Trial and error, Isabelle. I open the first white door i come across, and there's Alex laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He tilts his head towards me, a lilt of a smile on his face. And relief on mine.

"Hey, Isabelle. Bored so soon?"

"Hey, yeah. I don't know anyone."

"Did you meet the girl with piercings? Haley?"

"Yes...how did you know?" I take off my coat and put it on the ground, before i walk over and sit on the bed next to Alex.

"She texted me...she said; "sending a ninny to ya." That's Haley, i guess." His smile disappears and he puts his phone away before he sits up and i can smell him. Vanilla.

"So. Now what?"

"I don't know. I don't know much about you, so tell me things."

"Like what?" I cross my legs, getting comfortable. I realize that i don't feel pressured around Alex. I don't feel like he would ever test my boundaries. He fixes me with that icy blue stare, before twitching his nose.

"Like, what's your favorite color?"

"Maroon. You?"

"Navy blue."

"Like the night sky?"

"Yeah," he smiles. "Like the night sky."

And that's how we ended up talking for about twenty more minutes. Maybe more. I lost track of time. I learned his favorite band is Bring Me The Horizon, i learned his favorite book is The Hunger Games, and i learned that his middle name was Ryan. His full name was Alexander.

"Alexander Ryan. I like it. It just seems to formal, though. Not like you."

"Oh yeah? What about you, princess?"

I blush, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Isabelle Ellen."

"Like your sister?"

"Yeah." He locks his jaw and the smile disappears. With it the airy atmosphere. We sit in silence for a few more minutes, a comfortable silence. The walls hold us together, and the air says what we can't. Suddenly, a couple bursts in, faces attached to each other's. I look at Alex, and he jumps up and shoves them towards the door.

"Hey! Private property! You want a cheap hookup, do it at your own damn house!"

He slams the door, seething. It wasn't that big of a deal, but it obviously set something off inside him.

"Sorry about that." He sits next to me on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.

"I'm not like that to you, right?"

My voice is squeaky and quiet, but i needed to ask.

"Like what?" His voice is hard, and i'm almost afraid of him. But i take a deep breath. This is Alex.

"Just a cheap hookup."

He looks at me, a hard stare. Those eyes seem to stare right into me.

"No, God no. I swear i didn't lure you here under false pretenses."

"Okay. Just want to make sure."

Alex grabs my wrists and faces me.

"You will never be just a cheap hookup. Not to me, not to any one. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

I feel the blush rush to my cheeks again and pull my wrists away. Don't get too close, Isabelle. Getting close means walls go down and that means they can hurt you.

"Thanks." I mumble. Alex lays back down, his head next to me leg and his face staring up at me.

"And if you are just a hookup, they aren't worth your sweet time anyway, princess." I smile down at him, my hair falling into my face like a curtain. No one's ever noticed me like this. I lie down on my stomach, my face parallel to his. We are shaped like an L, his feet touching the wall and mine slightly hanging off. Alex smiles at me once again.

"And i'll never be worth yours."

I whisper, before i break the space, take the plunge, and crash my lips to his.