Chapter 33 - Comfort Me

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// Two updates in one day? Whaaaat? I feel like you all need to be treated because like, I left this too long and then I've shocked y'all. 😏

When Natasha said she would go and speak to Steve, she didn't expect the events that unfolded to take place

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When Natasha said she would go and speak to Steve, she didn't expect the events that unfolded to take place. She just wanted to calm him down before he took matters into his own hands. But once she reached his door and he looked down on her like that, with those sad blue eyes of his, she lost control. She literally lost control. Her mind was screaming against what she was saying, what she was doing but her body ignored it, doing what it willed.

And Steve, poor Steve, who had no intention of allowing himself to get carried away like that, couldn't help but feel a massive sense of guilt. And not because he let Nat into his bed. But because he didn't feel guilty about it. He felt guilty for not feeling guilty. Perhaps it was what she said to him. Maybe it was the way she kissed him. Or maybe it was the photos. Those stupid photos.

"I can't help but feel like I should have seen this coming." Steve said as he let her into his room, shutting the door quietly and then putting his hands in the pockets of his joggers. "What I didn't expect was for it to be Bucky." He had let the idea of them actually sharing some kind of a relationship eat away at him until he began to believe it himself.
"Well, you didn't really publicise your relationship as if you were together," Nat said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And you were the one who told us that she wasn't used to permanent."
"I know," Steve sighed, looking at the floor. "I just.. I felt this was different for her. I mean yeah, it had only been two weeks but.. one day can change a lot."
"Like today?" Nat asked, stepping towards him. "It's okay to be upset about it. We're all here to support you. I'm here to support you." She said, taking his face in her hands and looking him in the eye. "I'm here." She whispered, bringing her face closer to his.

He should have pulled back, he should have told her it was wrong. But he didn't. It wasn't the first time they'd kissed. But it shouldn't have happened. Yet Steve felt so hurt and angry and confused, and Chris was elsewhere and Nat was here. She was here. She was the one pressing her lips against his. She was the one lifting his shirt. She was the one pushing him onto the bed.

And now she was the one he was staring at still sleeping in his bed despite it being well after noon. And he willed himself to feel something. He had to feel something. Anything. Sadness. Longing. Regret. Pleasure, even. But he felt none of it.

She had told him to forget Chris between kisses. She had told him to say the name Natasha instead of Chris. But how could he when every time her skin touched his he longed for it to be Christina's? How was it that the whispers of sweet nothings in his ear didn't feel the same as Christina's whispers? How could he when he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from crying out her name and not Natasha's?

And that's when he realised what he felt. He felt Christina. And that was his priority. Despite the temporary comfort his redheaded team mate offered him, he needed answers. And he needed Christina.

[^^ I have no idea if that last bit makes sense lawl, it sounded much better in my head. But yes, here it is. Your answers. So don't forget to vote and comment!

What the hell is going on with Nat? I wonder if you have an inkling?]

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