three

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T R O Y E

I hadn't told Connor about my passion for singing. Not how much I really loved it, the things I had planned with it, the things I was doing now for music. I hadn't even dared to sing in front of him. And maybe I regretted that. Those were the thoughts running through my mind when I lay in bed that night, not being able to sleep.

The next morning I awake to find the house eerily silent. It is as I walk to the bathroom that I realize why. It was 5:03 in the morning. Fuck. And now I was awake and all, I certainly wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. I groaned and decided to just follow through with my plan and take my shower as I had intended to do, alas without the singing. I didn't want to wake my parents or siblings, though the chance existed that I already had because well, a shower already makes a lot of noise. At 5.30, I was dressed and had packed my bag.

I started the day with Geography, and was happy to sit next to Connor. We had a really fun midday yesterday, and I thought that maybe I could've just made a friend. It made me really happy, especially because my overly social siblings were already walking around with tons of friends as if they hadn't just moved here about a week ago.

At lunch he told me to sit with him and his friends, JC, Kian, Ricky and Trevor. I didn't. It wasn't that I didn't want to sit with them, it's that I had a meeting with my label this midday, for which I had to skip the last period, due to it being over an hours drive away from here, and I had to think  about how much songs the EP was going to include. We decided that it was best to get that settled within the next two weeks, but I hadn't really given it much thought, with the moving and all. So I excused myself from Connor and went to sit on my own at a small table in the cafeteria. He was a bit confused, I could tell, but I told him not to worry and just have fun with his friends and that I'd see him later on in class. He shrugged it of with an 'okay, see you later' and walked towards his usual table, already laughing and joking around.

To be completely honest, I didn't really think about how much songs the EP was going to have, but I was just writing them. I had written well over twenty songs, of which two were actually ones I was satisfied with and I hadn't already ditched. And so I tried again.

And I wanna see your eyes
Shining bright
Like a summer night

And I wanna see your eyes
Shining with joy
As if you were...

Aaand that's when the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch and the start of Social Studies. It was a subject I actually quite liked. I knew a lot of students despised it, though it was unnecessary, but I didn't. I thought it was important to discuss people and politics and the lgbt+ community I was part of. Not that I had told anyone at school I was gay, but I wouldn't avoid the question if it were to come up. I had come out on my YouTube channel last summer, after all. And boy, that video had tons, heck, millions of views.

My notebook full of songs was in my hand as I walked to class, but when I arrived someone snitched it away from me. "Oi, Mellet. What's this thing you're carrying? A Diary?" He mocked, and I went red in the face, stuttering a no but for some reason not moving or grabbing it back. Said guy then proceeded to standing front of the classroom and read from it out loud, laughing. The class was laughing at me now too. I was numb. It took me a couple minutes to process what was actually happening.

"Oh, guys. This one's called 'Fun'," he laughed loudly. It was then, as he started reading the first line I regained my ability to talk. To move. I let my backpack fall to the ground and for a mere second I wondered where the teacher was. The bell had rung eight minutes ago and there was no teacher to be found. I was angry now. Those were my songs. My songs for my EP. I practically ran up front and tried to get ahold of my notebook, but the guy, being taller than me, held it high above his head.

"But don't you wanna see the world, boy. All the countries and the stars, boy" 

By now I had really become angry. He can't just read lyrics out loud. That's personal. That is information not to be released yet. It was mine. I hit him his torso with my elbow.

"Give that back!" I now yelled. The impact of my hit made him fold himself a bit into himself, and I was able to reach my notebook. I grabbed ahold of him but was forced to release the little booklet when I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back with force.

"Mr Lee. Mr Mellet." My eyes widened and the boy, whose last name I figured was Lee, threw my notebook towards me while he looked at the teacher behind me with a smug grin. I just managed to catch my notebook, and held it tight to my chest. "There will be no fighting in my classroom, understand? Oh, and Caspar, please go to the principal. I will not allow you bullying the new kid." I shrank even more in my shell and walked back to my backpack and continued to the table next to Connor, which he held free.

"What was that about, Troye?" It seemed the most innocent question ever, but I got quite irritated at it. Hadn't he been paying attention at all?

A boy two seats away moved over, whispering something and then breaking out into a laughing fit with a girl. I reddened and immediately put my notebook away.

"Well, Connor, if you, unlike the rest of class, haven't noticed, that Caspar Lee dude was reading my fucking song lyrics out loud for everyone to hear!" And in my eyes, yes, I had the allowance to shout-whisper and be angry. You don't go around reading song lyrics or diary entries or literally any personal stuff out loud in front of the class. You just don't.

"I actually did notice. But you basically zoned out until he started with, what was it called, 'Fun'? I mean, you really freaked out at that point. So what happened there?" Well, duh. That was going to be on my EP. And now, even though the people I went to school with probably didn't even know my name, how much I loved singing, that I had YouTube account with over 1.5 million subscribers, and if somehow those lyrics would leak, I would be pretty much fucked.

"Nothing, Connor. I just went numb and snapped out of it at that moment."

The rest of the lesson passed without anything really happening. When it ended I planned on going straight towards my locker, but when I started walking there I was stopped by Connor and Kian.
"Troye, you still have Chemistry with us, on the other side of the building."

"I actually don't. I have a permission slip for not attending. " I wasn't lying, I really had somewhere else to be. Not that they needed to know where I was going or what I was going to do. Because even though everyone was allowed to hear me sing, to know about my YouTube channel, know about me being gay and know about me having brought out a song, they weren't allowed to know that I was signed to a label, and they definitely weren't allowed to know I was working on an EP.

"Oh," Connor's face fell. "See you later then, I guess." I smiled at him, after which he and Kian quickly walked to class. I grabbed my coat and walked outside, happy to already see Steele waiting in mom's car. He was going to drop me of at the translation, since neither mom nor dad had the time and no one wanted to drive an hour, then wait two hours and drive back. And I guess that was what I would be doing two times a week from now on, driving to the nearest train station, hopping on, having a meeting, and going back whilst eating dinner in the train. You had to sacrifice something for achieving your goals, right?

The meeting, although we were supposed to discuss the amount of songs (four or five) and the release date and the date by which all had to be recorded, was spent with writing and brainstorming. My notebook was pretty filled by now, and there were only two, from the either four or five songs, of which I definitely knew I wanted them to be on the EP. There were other songs, but, I don't know,  they just didn't have that 'wow-factor', if you know what I mean. The meeting ended somewhat satisfying though, I had one line I was really happy about;

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline

Okay. So that's the third real chapter! I hope you like it, next'll be Connor again, I think ^^ I feel like I don't do enough dialogue though? Like, I do too much descriptions? Do you guys like it this way, or do you prefer more dialogue/less descriptive/more specific chapters? I love you guys and really really appreciate your comments/reads and even the votes which I am so surprised to see because well, duh. Any tips/suggestions/things you noticed are welcome! Ly ^^

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