Poetic Genius

2. Sad times, times of rad-ness.

DUCK SAUCE AND MEESE
"First of all", said the moose
To the ever-so-decrepit goose,
"You've got to remember to bash,
The squishy little jellybean with just a dash
Of sugar and spice and just one grain of rice,"
And the goose nodded in earnest,
Because its name was Ernest and it was important to be earnest,
And said to the moose it would,
And would carefully squish, with its rump, some wood
Whereupon the dish would be placed
And served with wonderful maced
Goat's poop.
Which was in a chicken soup
Ewwww! The duck sauce exclaimed
But then it was claimed
By the Mama that Ain't Proud,
Who was very loud
So she had to Work From Home
With Fifth Harmony- though they kept stealing Mama's comb,
Duck sauce, aka, Duckson McBwubby
Had a great, big tubby
From all that ice cream
That he ate with his team
But that meant that he didn't eat any at all
So he went to the mall
To eat what he thought was gelato
Which was actually Moe.
Well, his pet goat's guts
So now, when Duckson walks, he struts
Like, on a catwalk
Which made him balk
On the chalk
On the whiteboard
Connected to a cord
Which wasn't supposed to be there
But Meghan Trainor didn't care
She said, "NO."
Directly at Moe
Who ran away
But didn't get far because he began to sway
Quite far away
On a Titanium floor
Which was a pathway to the door
To the Hall of Fame
That went up in a flame
But that was all part of The Script ft. Will.I.Am
And they all are spam
Somehow, the Internet spam
'Cause they're WHACK
'Specially when they said QUACK
Except they never did,
But that don't matter when you ain't got no lid
For yo' head
Made up of pencil lead
And cheese, because cheese is yum
Unless you're real dumb
Nah, I'm kidding. Maybe.
But if you're a baby,
Then yes, cheese isn't yum
For your little tum.
"JUST LET IT GO!"
Elsa screamed at the moose, named Po
Like the tubby creature with a belly
That was a screen, like a telly
Namely, a teletubby,
Which ate my jellybubbly,
A lolly concoction I made
When I was playing Old Maid
With Elsa tried to cheat at
By trying to freeze me so she could see where my cards at
Even though neither of us know how to play,
Properly, anyway
And we're only playing because Anna was out slaying
Olaf's kidnappers, while sleighing
With Kristoff, who almost died
When Olaf got him pied
In the face
With a toy mace
That was far too real,
Especially since Olaf had pied Kristoff with great zeal.
You can call Olaf Ol,
While he stares at that mole.
Meanwhile the Titanium floor
And the Hall of Fame door
Were getting rather dusty
And also rusty
Because Elsa had chucked ice
All over them, since she wasn't feeling nice.
And the moose,
Who had instructed the goose,
On the bashing
And mashing
Of the little jellybean, sat
On Matt's cravat [MasterChef]
Before running at full speed
Into a cauldron full of mead,
Which
An old witch
Had placed specifically as a trap
For the moose, so she could get his crap.
Which she did,
Because the moose pooped on the lid
Of the cauldron and skipped away
And helped a rooster belay
A flyaway flyer
To a cliff face known as Myer
At Hungry Jack's,
Because the flyer was a goat and also wanted snacks
And it was the goat who revealed that
The moose's name was LATT,
Well, really, Latte, but the goat
Had previously lived in a moat
And so didn't English proper well,
But the rooster thought him pretty swell.
Another moose, named Beet,
And another, named Feet,
Joined Latte to help
Gather some kelp
To use as rope to belay
The goat, and delay
The witch, who had acquired Latte's poop,
From opening her chicken coop,
Which she had crafted using the mead and poop as glue.
Which, by the way, was poo
Yes, excretion
So a firestorm was unleashin'
And destroyed Trina [Grojband]
But not Mina
Because 'twas Mina who unleashed the storm
But that was still the norm
It all happened in her dorm
In the Wonderland
Which was panned
Out in a panorama
And somehow, there was a llama
It was mooing
At the same time, pooing
Right on Taylor Swift's chipmunk's face
In its Wildest Dreams which included a mace
Turns out, it was real!
So Taylor's chipmunk had a meal
Of what was on its face
Which was a dace
Though, digested and pooped.
So Ariana Grande digested this info in The Way she did. It looped
In her brain as she tried to consume it all
It was like swallowing a ball!
So Lecrae came along
Who was wearing ping-pong
And he said to the ping-pong,
To listen to his song,
Before he did anything wrong,
"All I Need is You."
As the ping-pong sat on the loo
He pooed and did a moo
But nothing came out
He figured he had gout
He wondered what to do, with a pout
For he thought it was adorable
But he was wrong. His judgement was deplorable!
He definitely failed
So he wailed
But suddenly...he barfed!
And as he did, Adele laughed
So in between giggles, she said, "Only Someone Like You would do that."
And the meese, who delayed the opening of the coop, sat
On a large donut made of walnuts and lollies,
Whilst pushing around trolleys
Filled to the brim with food,
Including chocolate, melting moments, Thunderstruck owls and a duck that was rude
Because it stuck out its bill
And waddled away with Jill,
Leaving Jack to roll down the hill
Clad in Bubble Rap, almost crashing into the mill
Where flour was made from wheat
And some guy was eating meat
As he sat in a boot
Made out of burdock root
So that when he stood up
He was covered completely in burrs, as if a cup
Of burrs had been rained down on him,
Only this wasn't the time for him to Kiss the Rain
But he did, and so he felt some slight pain
And went bright red
Because his head
Saw a girl named Jean
Looking at him like he was unclean,
Which he was, because he was covered in burrs and mud
And his super-cool leather jacket was a dud,
Which made her laugh,
And barf,
And roll away shaking her head,
Especially when she saw a clothes peg on the floor, dead.
Meanwhile a mousse
And a moose
Were both chewing contentedly on rice
Which they thought was quite nice
Until the moose
Turned on the mousse
And gobbled it up like a turkey
To the horror of the murky
Brown pig standing nearby with her jaw on the floor
Because she'd dropped it accidentally, and it had rolled there from the moor
Where she had been thumping around,
Rolling in the ground
In the rain
Which had not caused pain,
Because there had been no burr,
And besides, she didn't have fur,
Because she was a pig,
Who liked to dance jigs.
But the duck sauce did not like this
While the meese tolerated it, though they were doing a piss
So, Duckson sat
On the flying mat
With Aladdin
Who was convinced Duckson was maddened
As a cure, Aladdin Set Fire to the Rain
As you can tell, he's not completely sane
So Adele halted his attempts and gently shoved him
Headfirst Into the Sim
Into his very own lamp
But it was damp
So the lamp was damp and Aladdin was sad.
Sad times, times of rad-ness.