Chapter 1

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Chapter 1;

I was pushed to the wall forcefully and whimpered as I fell to the iced floor. They were always rougher with me. I knew it was true because I was always the one to end up with more bruises than everybody else. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see my brother, Zayn. He had a different -way different- complextion than I did. I didnt see how we could be related.

'You okay?' He signed. I just nodded with a frustrated sigh. I hated when he talked to me in sign language infront of people. It made me look more vulnerable than I already was. I mean I could read lips, I was good at that. 'Practice is over, lets go home.' He signed. I got up slowly and took off my helmet.

'I can't believe you.' I signed angrily. I skated to the exit and immediately started taking my clothes off. I hated practice and just wanted to quit. But of course I couldn't. Mum said if I did something I'd have to stick with it. I felt someone pull me back harshly and fell to the floor. It was Zayn.

I looked up at him and he just stared at me with pity, something he did alot, something i hated very much. 'Whats your problem?'

'I dont know maybe the fact that I hate when you treat me differently.'

'Im sorry?' i rolled my eyes and stood up. I walked past him and into the locker room, everybody stared at me and I just sighed, I was the freak of the team. Its what they called me anyway.

I changed quickly and felt fingers through my hair and I was being pulled backwards. "Its yours fault we lost." his lips said. Sometimes i wondered what my bully's voice sounded like and other times i was glad i couldnt hear it because it was probably high pitched and annoying. Ha.

I stood up carefully, rubbing my scalp. I hated when they touched my hair but i couldnt tell them that, they'd probably laugh at me. I clentched my right fist and put it over my heart, moving it in a circular motion. I was saying sorry. Something i did very often.

"Whatever." he pushed me against the lockers, my back hitting the lock, I'm pretty sure i yelped in pain but i couldnt hear it. It was funny though, people had to learn a bit of sign language because of me. They had to spend time learing instead of practing. The thing was we needed the practice.

Zayn came into view and he rolled his eyes at me. I put my hands like asking what and he just waved me off and started walking out of the locker room. I followed after him and grabbed his arm. He yanked it from my grip. 'leave me alone.' he signed.

'Whats wrong?' I signed back worriedly.

'Whats wrong?' I could tell that was meant to have a hint of sarcasm. 'Whats wrong is that im trying to be nice to you and youre just being' he paused and i could tell he was thinking. 'blah!' he finished off.

'Im sorry?'

'Im sorry. Nothing. Get in the car. Tomorrows our first day of sophomore year and you better not screw it up for me.' He was right. Tomorrow was our first day of sophomore year. I found it rather odd that our school entered in November. A month before hockey season. Thats why we've been practing after all.

'Okay.' I went back to the locker room and got my stuff. I slung my duffle bag over my shoulder and walked towards the exit. I opened the door and walked towards Zayns car. I really didnt know how we had cars already. Actually yes I did. We were rich.

Zayn was a horrid driver though.

I got in the nice polished car and slammed the door. 'Watch it.' Zayn signed turning to me. I knew he cared about his car alot, I just didnt understand why, he could get another one in the matter of seconds.

"Sorry." I mumbled. I could talk, just didnt know if i was saying any of the words right. I probably sounded like idiot.

He started the car and we started moving. I honestly hated cars. I didnt know why but everytime i got in one i got this uneasy feeling as if something had happened in one.

The rest of the drive was silent. Like it always was. For one I couldnt hear and two I was pretty sure Zayn was pissed at me.

I stepped out of the car and walked into the house without waiting for Zayn. I walked into the kitchen and saw mum standing by stove making dinner. I frowned. She looked nothing like me either. I didnt get where I got my eye colour, skin colour, or the fact that im deaf from.

'Louis, you okay?' I shook my head of anything thoughts and nodded.

'Fine' I signed. I replaced my frown with a smile and hugged her. She hugged back. When she pulled back she smiled.

'Go get ready for dinner.' I nodded and headed up the stairs. The longest stairs I have ever seen. It was nice living in a huge house, the only down side was having to walk up and down these stupid stairs. But thats not what was bothering me right now, it was the fact that i was starting to notice more. I mean i've always noticed but I always brushed it off.

I entered my room and headed straight my medicine cabinet. I rummaged through the small cabinet for my antidepressants. When they were finally in my hands I took out one and slipped it into my mouth. Almost immediately feeling the side affects, tiredness and fake happiness.

I stripped my clothing and stepped into the shower. Putting my hand on the handles and turning them on. Feeling ice cold water hit my skin, it didnt phase me as much anymore.

I finished up and got dressed. I walked down the flight of stairs and walked into the dinning room. I didnt get why we had a long table if it was just six of us. I sat in my normal seat by Zayn and picked at my food that was already set infront of me by the maids.

That was another thing. Mum liked to cook just never liked to clean so she hired them.

'How was your day today?' I saw my father sign. I just shrugged and he nodded understandingly.

"Tommorrow we start school." I saw Zayn say. I could tell he was excited, why wouldnt he be? He was popular. Something i wasnt. I didnt know how he managed to be so popular last year, every freshman got picked on. But then again he did manage to shag some senior. Well thats what I heard anyways. But if it wasnt true then how other way could have he manage?

"Can I be excused?" I said setting my fork down. Mum looked at me worriedly but nodded anyways. I stood up and walked back up stairs.

I entered my room and sat on my bed. Already feeling my mood change. I scratched at my wrists and fell back on my bed.

I wanted to scream but what was the point if i couldnt hear myself? I wish I could hear my strangled cry for help.

Thats when i felt the hot stream of tears down my face. They fell like a never ending water fall. I hated living here. I hated feeling like this.

I hated me.

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