Not Seeing Eye To Eye

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"You can't do that. Didn't you hear what the doctor said?" Jake asked pulling away from me. I instantly missed his warmth, his scent. The vulnerability in his eyes was now masked over completely with frustration.

"You'll die Emily, I can't lose you" he said quietly staring deeply into my eyes.

"I can't lose my baby Jake" I whispered in response. I watched as his fists curled up in frustration, his eyebrows knitting together. His shoulders tensed up as he processed my dangerous decision to keep our baby.

"Emily, you will kill yourself" Jake said bluntly scraping back the chair he was sat on. He shook his head, gritting his teeth tightly together.

"Maybe, or maybe I'll survive this along with my baby -"

"Our baby" Jake snapped cutting me off.

"Our baby which means we both make the decision" he added, pointing back and forth between me and him.

"Yeah and right now it seems like only your decision is valid. You haven't even asked me what I want Jake!" I argued back, my voice rising with frustration. Why couldn't he understand that I have to do this?

"Because what you want is crazy! Did you even listen to the doctor Emily? You're going to die if you keep the baby! There's no way around it" he yelled, his hands flying in the air as he spoke. I could see his eyes turning a shade darker as his chest rose heavily.

"I have to do this" I said quietly, staring ahead at the wall. It hurt me too much to see the pain and anger inside Jake's eyes.

"Bullshit!" Jake yelled standing up and knocking the chair over in the process. It clattered to the floor and I inhaled deeply pinching the bridge of my nose.

"This is my body Jake! I can decide what the hell I do with it!" I yelled back, the atmosphere in the room increasing as time went on.

"So you want to put yourself in an early grave? After all the shît you went through? Seriously, what the hell are you thinking?!" Jake asked angrily, his voice rising every second.

I glared at him my own fists curled up -

"I'm thinking that I want to save my baby! How can you ask me to kill an innocent human being who hasn't done anything wrong? A baby Jake... A tiny human with eyes and legs, fingers and toes!" I argued back, defending myself. A mental image of my baby entered my mind and I shut my eyes tightly, forcing myself to stay calm. I couldn't get myself worked up, it wasn't healthy. Not for me or the baby.

"Don't try and pin this all on me! I'm not forcing you to abort our baby Emily, I want you to choose wisely! Instead of losing one of you, I'm going to end up losing both of you" Jake's voice quietened and he too shut his eyes, turning his back on me and staring out of the window.

"You can't do this Muffin" he added, his voice full of emotion. I could hear the tremble in his voice, the fear dripping off every word. Moments passed and the only sound in the room was the beeps of the machine and Jake's heavy breathing as he waited for my final decision.

"I'm sorry Jake" I eventually replied biting down on my lip to stop myself from full on bawling my eyes out. I watched in sadness as Jake's shoulders slumped over in defeat, his whole posture becoming weak. He stayed silent for a moment before he turned without saying a single word and headed for the door. The force of the slam as he left shook the entire hospital room and I jumped at the noise, wrapping my arms around my body.

*****

Hours had passed and the sun was now setting outside of my hospital room window. I had spent the last two hours having a long talk with the doctor who specialised with difficult pregnancies. He had tried endlessly to make me change my mind and was adamant I have an abortion however after seeing how serious I was about my decision, he had given up instead respecting my wishes. We had both decided that I would have weekly check up's that consisted of my bloods being taken along with a lengthy total scan to check on the baby's health and my own.

"We will be monitoring you very very closely Emily and any sign of distress to either you or your baby can be fatal so please take it easy. No excessive stressing and any sign of a problem, you come to see me straight away."

He instructed me firmly, making sure I was listening carefully.

The doctor also warned me that due to the complications with the pregnancy, there was a much higher chance of me having a C-section instead of delivering the baby naturally. I had also been told to brace myself for the baby being premature if I got through the next few months with no extreme problems.

To say that I was overwhelmed from all the information was an understatement. I felt like I was floating around in a nightmare and any second now I would wake up to find myself carrying a healthy, happy baby. The next few months were probably going to be the most difficult ones of my life... If I survive.

I checked my phone for the millionth time to see if Jake text me back. He had chosen to ignore me for the majority of the day and I hadn't heard from him ever since he stormed out of my room. I blew out a sigh, scrolling through my phone until I landed on Ivory's number. The phone rang for a while -

"Hey it's Ivory. I can't take your call right now because I'm probably off somewhere being fabulous so leave me a message instead!"

I rolled my eyes at her voicemail but couldn't help the smile stretching onto my face. I ended the call and instead landed on Tobias' number. I hadn't seen him since the night we talked about him and Jane. I was still wearing my survivor bracelet and I stroked over the beads with my fingers, inspecting it as the phone rang on the other side.

"Hello?" Tobias' voice echoed through.

"Hey T, are you busy?" I asked standing up and pacing back and forth in my room.

"No, what's up? How are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm doing okay, I need a ride. Can you pick me up from the hospital in an hour? I'm being discharged" I explained nibbling on my lower lip nervously.

Tobias didn't hesitate replying instantly -

"Yeah, of course."

"Thanks T" I blew out my shoulders slumping in relief.

"No problem, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah... Have you seen Jake today?" I asked sheepishly and Tobias paused on the other end.

"Did you two have an argument? And to answer your question, no, I haven't seen him" he answered. I could hear him fiddling around with something on the other end which sounded like the jangle of keys.

I remained silent, a wave of exhaustion hitting me hard. My mind, body, soul was tired and I needed comfort.

"You don't have to answer that... I'm coming to get you now. See you soon Emily" Tobias said softly before ending the call with a soft click. I kept the phone held up to my ear for a few moments, my body still, numb.

Eventually I bought my hand down, pocketing the phone and taking a seat on the edge of the messy hospital bed.

"He'll be here soon" I whispered stroking my hand over my stomach.

I was comforting both the baby and myself.

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