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"I would've died. I would've loved you all my life."

               - Losing Your Memory, Ryan Star

It's a strange mystery, the power of words. Life is in them, and death. A word can send the crimson color hurrying to the cheek. Hurrying with many meanings; or can turn the current cold and deadly to the heart. Anger and fear are in them; grief and joy are on their sound; yet slightly, impalpable. A word is but a breath of passing words.

There are words that I have come to fear, I dare not think of them. The memories of pain and death follow.

My mind is blank and my thoughts shallow. I think it's been a week, it's been hard to tell without a clock, but there isn't much else to do these days.

I don't know what it is but something is different, my mind isn't the same... I'm not me... Am I anyone? I forget so easily who I am.

"She's ready." I hear the voices say. I speak very little and almost never lift my head other than to scream. "All we have to do now is wipe her."

What does that mean? What happens when they wipe me?

"Alright, grab her."

All the pressure from my restraints is removed and I feel a pair of hands on either side of me helping me stand. I immediately collapse to the floor and they have to drag me through the door.

We walk by dozens of other cells, most of the people look either mad or extremely close to death. I try not to pay attention to the other caged people but one in particular catches my eyes.

A man. He's covered in dirt and dried blood, not to mention his brown hair is growing long and thick. He seems in desperate need of a shave. His left arm is gone and in place was a bloody cloth covering his wound. But none of these things matter to me, it's his eyes.... The color.... That look...

He catches my gaze and his eyes widen. He jumps off the floor and throws himself against the bars of the cage.

"ALEX!" He screams like a madman and continues to bang against the bars. "What did they do to you!"

Did I know this man? He is oddly familiar and he seems to know me.

I'm shook from my thoughts and they drag me away from the man and out of my sight. I'm shoved into another room and placed in a chair in the center of the room.

"Today is the day you will forget everything. Today is the day you will become something better."

I feel the man strap me in even tighter, and easily prying my mouth open to place a mouth guard inside. The man puts a helmet-like device on my head, informing me that this will hurt. I don't care. I welcome the pain.

"What is your name?"

"....Alex?" I guess after a moment.

No other words are spoken when the man pulls a lever. My body convulses as electricity shoots through it - zapping my brain. The pain is overwhelming and eventually I feel myself pass out.


I open my eyes and the world around me is swirling. After a few moments things start to come into focus, there are a few people around me, none of which I recognize.

"Where am I?" I moan.

"What is your name?" One of the men ask in a German accent.

I open my mouth but no words come out. What is my name? I can't remember. I don't remember anything.

"I uh... I-I don't know." I say disappointed.

One of the men looks at a man in a white lab coat. "It worked, I want her prepped for her first assignment immediately."

The doctor nods and pulls out a red book with a star on the center. "Longing."

I gasp and arch my back in the chair, my back suddenly feels like fire and my fists are turning white.


My skin starts to crawl and my entire body is burning, I whimper and hit the back of my head against the seat. My mind flashes back to the man in the cell and I see his face, I know him. I see memories of the two of us kissing and laughing together.... It's Bucky....

"Stop it!" I scream but they don't listen.

"Seventeen.... Daybreak.... Furnace.... Nine.... Benign.... Homecoming.... One.... Freight Car."

I can't remember why I was screaming, everything is like a white noise machine. "Soldier?" Someone asks me.

"Ready to comply." I say involuntarily.

AN: So that's probably where I'm gonna stop, I might do more chapters of her torturing Bucky eventually if I get more votes and comments, but for right now I wanna focus on CopyCat.

I would've done more chapters of her being tortured by Grayson, but there weren't a lot of modern used tortures that I could think of. I did do research on really painful things, but most were really outdated and strange.

lol, another ironic song....

Before We Fall ☆ Bucky Barnes {2}Where stories live. Discover now