jaan//ziam

१८.

The cramps don't go away later. Liam's tummy hurts throughout the day and although Zayn maintains a stony face, he's worried.

Not like he loves Liam or anything. It's just.

Liam being upset does things to him. Makes him feel like he's kicked a puppy or something equally inhuman.

Main uske liye jaan de sakta hu, aur le bhi sakta hu, he will realise later. [I can kill for him, and die for him too]

Over the next few days, he realises Liam is not himself.

Ever since that one morning, Liam has been looking paler and paler. His morning sickness has been terrible, and his shoulder joints ache.

It's only one morning, when Zayn wakes up to yet another empty side of the bed, and hears muffled crying in the bathroom that he realises it's not just a normal pregnancy.

It can't be. They shouldn't be this painful. How can people have 5 or 6 children if they're this painful?

Yawning tiredly, he sits up in bed and rubs his eyes slowly, until everything stops looking blurry and grey and those technicolour ribbons stop crossing his retinas.

He climbs out of bed and pads his way over to the bathroom, before gently knocking at the door.

'Leeyum?' he calls out sleepily, and instantly the crying stops.

He furrows his eyebrows as he steps back, eyeing the door wearily.

The toilet flushes and then the door's opening to reveal a weak, smiling Liam.

'Good morning Emir' Liam says far too happily.

'Bullshit' Zayn spits softly, before stepping forward and cupping Liam's face in his hands.

Liam sighs shakily, but his watery smile stays on his face.

'Jaan, tell me what's wrong' Zayn pushes, getting more worried as he takes in Liam's appearance.

Pale, tear–tracked cheeks, puffy–eyed, tired. Exhausted.

Liam shakes his head slowly, 'Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine' he insists, but Zayn can see the way his façade weakens every time he tries to convince himself that everything is okay.

'Jaan' Zayn whispers brokenly, 'I'm losing you'

And Zayn doesn't know where this is coming from. I hate Liam. I hate Liam. You can't care for him, Zayn. He's a traitor.

And Liam's suddenly breaking down.

He lunges forward and wraps his arms around Zayn, nuzzling into his chest.

Sobs wrack through his body and Zayn strokes his back, whispering sweet nothings. Unsure of what to do.

Jaan. . .

They stay like that for some time; Zayn calming Liam down as he cries his eyes out.

'I'm bleeding from my—' Liam finally mutters, pulling away from Zayn, eyes bright, 'It's like a–a period. Roo's told me a–about them'

Liam takes a deep breath as if he's trying to pull himself together, but he fails.
Completely and miserably.

His face scrunches up as he starts crying again, body shaking with the force of it, 'What if it's a–a miscarriage? Wh–what if something's wrong with our b–baby?!'

The way Liam says “our baby” makes Zayn's heart flutter and tears well up in his eyes.

Even though it's not—it's so clearly not Zayn's baby, Liam has just accepted Zayn as the father.

Despite Zayn being such a shitty person, and forcing Liam to live with him, and not even being the fucking biological father—

Liam considers him the other parent.

And it's then. Then, that he realises that—

Liam may have cheated, but right now, Zayn is the worst person.

He needs to sort this mess out.

'Ssh' Zayn whispers, on the brink of tears himself, 'Baby'll survive, jaaneman. Baby is strong. Nothing's wrong with him'

'Her' Liam whispers, looking up. Zayn raises an eyebrow at him.

'I want a girl' Liam clarifies, hiccuping.

And he sounds so childish in that moment, that Zayn can't help but chuckle.

'Her then' he smiles, leaning down to kiss Liam's hairline. 'Nothing's wrong with her, ok Leeyum?'

When Liam still looks teary and doubtful, Zayn pulls him into a tight embrace, trying to convey all his sorry's and thank you's through that one hug.

All his I love you 's and I can't live without you 's.

'She is a fighter. She is alright. Nothing's wrong with her' Zayn murmurs soothingly, rubbing Liam's back.

It's probably stress, Zayn thinks, me putting pressure on Liam all the time. Stress does all sorts of things to people.

And from now on, he vows to treat Liam like a prince until he's given birth and they can discuss their issues.

The press of Liam's bump against Zayn's tummy sends a thrill through Zayn.

One that is very late, but makes Zayn feel over–the–moon anyway.

He's going to be a father. Zayn Javaad Malik; Emir; Father.

It sounds amazing in his head.

Nothing's wrong with baby. She's perfect. Everything's gonna be okay.

‡