Warning to readers

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All rights reserved. The full copyright notice can be found at the end of this book. All correspondence in connection with this work to martin@dace.co.uk

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Boring copyright notice from Milton Marmalade

You want to know how an ordinary and rather dull man is transformed into someone passionate and with a certain quiet power after he finds a mermaid in his bath. Of course you do, because when the unexpected happens to you, you will want to know how to deal with it.

It is a tale of love and struggle, no more surprising and absurd in its way than real life.

So you will want skip this bit since it's just the legal stuff that you're supposed to put in. You can skip this section as long as you are not a bad person or a lawyer.

This is just where I point out that this whole story is copyright and all rights are reserved. In addition all characters are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons living or dead is coincidental (except the bit about Stalin). All right, there are bits of satire where I have a dig at such things as payday loan companies and coffee houses that don't know how to make really good coffee, but if you think it's you then either it isn't or you have a guilty conscience.

One more thing. This story is in fact mostly safe for children, but since there are a couple of mentions of droplets of water on the ends of nipples I had to classify it Parental Guidance. If your little ones are suddenly going to ask you, 'what's a nipple, mummy?' you need to have a prepared answer, so that you don't blush and tell them to ask the other parent. Also the word 'orgasm' has crept in a couple of times, but only in a totally innocent context. On second thoughts, best not read it to the kids.

You may now read on, even if you are a bad person or a lawyer acting for a payday loan company.

May you also be transformed as Lionel will be, by meeting the unexpected with an open heart.

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