Hana: Asfgjhdsjkjd. Okay, um, hi, yes, all right, READ MY STORY! Boyxboy, don't like, get the fuck out. kay thanks. You do like? keep reading! kinda slow at first sorry, but it'll get better! So comment. and fan. and like. and dance. Kthxbai. <3

Scene 1: How Did This Ever Happen?

“I like your ass in those jeans.”



“What?!” Now that we've established the fact that my mother is a pedobear, allow me to go on with my little life story.

I live with mum, Linnet, and Pip. Linnet is my cum-stained bitch of a sister, and Pip is my 2 year old cousin.

“What? No skirts today?”

“The whore speaks.” Linnet. Spawn of Satan. I'm tempted to throw my breakfast, but Pip would start crying. He seems to like the bitch. For unknown reasons.

So I bet your wondering, “Jesus, he must hate his sister!” And yeah I do. And don't. I mean I wouldn't speak to her, or share anything with her, and she's a bitch. But if she were about to be run over by a car, I'd jump out in front of it to save her.

I guess that's the thing about families.

Pip is an odd thing. He's fat and squishy and all he does is shit his pants, follow Linnet around and cry. I don't hate him. But I don't enjoy being in the same as him. I guess I’m not that much of a baby person.

“Linnet, would you put a shirt on?” Ha! And not dress like a cheap drugged up hooker? Not a chance!

“Mum! This is a shirt!”

“And that dental floss is actual underwear.” I point out.

“Shut up!” Nice come back. I really want to throw my waffles at her. Blehg.

“Riley, I don't want to have to ground you.”

Oh, my name is Riley.

Oh, and I'm a boy.


“Riley!” I sigh and turn my head. It's Annie and April. Their sisters, also my best friends. A lot of people think that I'm dating one (or both) of them, but that's just ridiculous. I'm gay after all.

Annie jumps on over, and shakes something in my face. It's a slip of paper.

“And this is?” I say, and scratch my head.

“The godly paper. Noah Underhill. Asked me out on.” Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu????!?!?!?!?! That sex plate? That tall dark handsome football player? Annie? Well, fuck.

“Congratulations you traitorous whore.” I say pathetically.

“Aww come on! Don't be jealous!”

I shrug. “If only I was a girl, he would have been all over me.”

“You say that about everyone.” April says, and grabs my hand, looking earnestly into my eyes. “You'll never know unless you try.”

I roll my baby blues and try not to snort. “No thanks, I'd rather not have guys look at me with disgust.”

I don't even want to try. Why should I? Straight guys don't want to be near me, let alone have me like them. That's why I only have girl friends, guys never think of me the same way after they find out I'm gay, and that's not a hard thing to find out seeing as though, I even cross-dress on occasions.

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