I know it breaks your heart
Moved to the city in a broke down car
And four years, no calls
Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar
And I can't stop, no, I can't stop
Closer- The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
Today was the first time my brother and I was able to go out and have some fun. I've been on the road so much with football and everything. I barely had time for the people back at home. Not having enough time for the people I care about the most has always been a problem for me.
4 years ago, I was madly in love. I still am. But we're not together anymore. I never had enough time for, and she was okay with that. But I wasn't and I never will be. I regret how everything turned out. And I regret not being there. And I regret not marrying her.
She was there my freshman year of highschool. All through high school. She was there sophomore year. Junior year. Senior year. She was there through college.
The NFL combine. Hell she was there my first season. She has always been there. Then I let her go. I broke up with her after the first season. It was hard for me but I was also hard for me to always leave her alone and not have her be my number one priority. After all that, we haven't talked. Texted. Nothing. She just disappeared from the face of my earth.
It was the hardest decision I have ever made but it had to be done.
We have returned from guys night and went to the bar in our hotel for a couple more drinks.
That's when I saw her. The most beautiful princess in the world. Sitting in a barstool with 3 of her friends. She was smiling and laughing.
My heart started beating faster.
"Woah." I breathed out.
I knew I was staring but she's breathtaking and I miss her more than I ever thought I had.
I had to talk to her.
I started walking towards her, completely walking away from my brother, who had already started talking to some girls.
I was behind her when I made eye contact with her best friend. They have been best friends since elementary, and I know she must hate me for breaking up with her.
She gave me a shy smile before returning to their conversation. I have butterflies. This is how I felt when I first saw her on the first day of freshman year.
Where to go? Where to go? Where is my first class? Where are some of my friends? Any of them. Where are my teammates?
Woah. Her eyes. Her hair. Her.
Maybe I'm over exaggerating but she was amazing she looked amazing.
"Oh my goodness. I am so sorry." She looked nervous.
"You're fine. I'm Ryan. Nice to meet you."
End of flashback
I was right behind her when she turned around. Her smile dropped and she sighed.
"Baby." I breathed out.
"C. How are you?"
"I'm okay. How are you?"
"I miss you."
I couldn't hold it in. Four years since we've last talked. I did miss her a lot.
"I don't think we should do this, Ryan."
"Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't called. I'm sorry that I broke up with you. I'm sorry that for the first time in four years, we talk in a hotel bar. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there. I'm so sorry. I miss you so much and all I want to do is talk. Please."
"Ok. Ok. Let's go somewhere."
She stood up and started making her way out and looking to see if I was following.
I have to make this work this time.
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