FIRST PART: Back to Home / Chapter1.1: Departures

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Hi!!
I'm not a native English speaker. I hope you could help me to revise the translation of my book. Somebody told me that my English is too proper and not as a native talks. Maybe it could seem that the narrator is from the time and place where the action occurs? Argentina 1880.
I'd love if you find an odd phrase that you'd say someway else, please go ahead please please please please don't be shy please and correct it in a comment and I'll revise it faster than flash!!

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In memory of "don" Coco (Felipe), my dad, who was a great reader, taught me music, read my first stories in high school and laughed with my laughter when venturing in Mafalda's cartoons. In memory of "doña" Aida, my mom, who'd tried I follow the path of God, had expected to exercise as an accountant, and had relived passion when I had got excited assisting a Boca Juniors' match.To Facundo my soul mate, my love, my pillar.

"I write to relieve myself without any hope of being read."
Jorge Luis Borges

There are loves that await us a whole life to mature, to apprehend them hard and not let them escape. This is the case of these youngsters that met as teenagers and had to learn to apprehend each other.There is no doubt that the point that united them forever, was the moment in which faith separate them unexpectedly.

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Atlantic Ocean, September 1880

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Atlantic Ocean, September 1880.The storm had passed; rowdy, the crew ran from side to side."Where do you think we are at this point Martina?," asked Lionard."The crew I found earlier told me that we were near the Port of General Lavalle. So I figure we are a little further south, in Ajó, the easternmost territory of Buenos Aires."

This is what she'd loved to express in English, but since she didn't dominate it completely, she only said, "In Ajó, around 400 km south from Port of Buenos Aires".
Exhausted, they felt asleep each one sitting in a corner of the cabin, where had to wait obediently that they come looking for them.

Later, strong boat's shudder awoke them. They were no longer hearing the crew running around as before. Lio and Martina went up on deck to understand what was happening. They noticed that the coast was near but saw no one crewing the schooner.

The sun started to appear from the dense clouds, on its way down toward the cleared horizon. They ran to a side of the ship to realize that the lifeboats weren't there.
"What's going on," asked Martina extremely alarmed.

They ran to the other side, and neither the lifeboats were there.

They ran to the other side, and neither the lifeboats were there

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