Malibu Love

XXIX

[All credits for the poems and quotes go to original authors; i only found them on instagram (poemsporn_)

""You loved her?" She questioned him, he nodded. 
"So, why did you guys end? Why did you leave her?" 
"Because, " he paused. "I don't know. I wasn't good enough for her, I hurt her, you know? I hurt her all the time and sometimes, sometimes... I meant to and I hates myself for it but I couldn't stop. I loved when she stared at me with her big brown eyes that were glistening from the tears. She was so in love with me and I took advantage of it, I was toxic for her. But I loved her, I still do love her. I think a part of me always will. But she deserved so much more and when I left her, I swear the cracks in her heart were visible through her eyes. You could see the pain she was feeling just by looking at her face. But I guess sometimes, you have to hurt someone to help them." There."

"Okay yeah, maybe a little bit." Lauren agreed

"I found another one." Camila added

"You three are so weird. What's wrong with Miami and people born in it?"

"I'm from Cuba."

"Same shit."

"Just read Mila." Lucy said

""The worst kind of a goodbye is the kind that you don't expect. The worst is  when you don't even consider it an option, because four months ago he was telling you that you were the love of his life and now the word forever isn't even uttered from his lips. Four months ago he was looking at you like you put the sun in the sky and now he looks at you like he can't wait for the sun to set and leave the skies over his head. The worst kind of goodbye is the kind that you dread. You feel ut leaking into every crevice of your heart and you'll try not to talk because you can hardly take a breath in, let alone beg him to stay while he's stabbing wounds like "it's over" and "I can't do this anymore". You're holding in your tears and replacing them with anger and words with a lot more bark than bite like "fine, okay, leave. Jesus Christ" I don't even want you anymore." And he'll look at you all sad because you both know you're lying but God fuck if he's going to leave then just rip off the fucking band aid, don't wait around to see if the wound will heal. The worst kind of good bye is the kind that echoes through your body months later because he left his fingertips on parts of your body that you couldn't expect like the back of your eyelids or the spaces between your fingertips. The worst kind of good bye is the kind that enters like a bullet but crawls it's way out like blood from a cut. You feel it everywhere and you let it haunt you because you'd rather picture him saying "good ybe" a million times than not be able to see him at all. The worst kind of good bye is the kind that he left you, because no matter what you do you can't seem to press the right buttons to rewind or close your eyes hard enough to snove the words back into his mouth and replace it with the love you could'be sworn once felt. You could've sworn that good bye wasn't even a line in your story, but suddenly it's flled up every page you were supposed to leave for the future." "

"That's depressing." Maritza commented once again

"It's poetic." Lauren argued

"Whatever. Just explain to me why are you even doing this? So, you two dated, you left her, you see each other a few years later and end up somehow together, right? When in that story, and how, do you decide it's a good idea to read poems that remind you of your break up? If I saw my ex, and I still loved him as much as you two love each other, I wouldn't try to recreate or relive bad memories. Like, hey you fucked me up, or I fucked you up, let's ignore talking about it but read poems that remind us of it, lol."

"Now that you put it that way..." Camila agreed

"I'm just saying, it's messed up."

"So are we." Lauren added and Camila hummed in agreement