I stepped out of The Blue Eagle and rounded the corner of the building briskly, leaning back against the cool brick and taking a deep breath.
It was her. It was actually her.
For the past two months I had been searching for her everywhere, scanning every person on the street to try and find those eyes I could never forget. And after all this time, she was right under my nose! She was my uncle’s employee and coworkers with my neighbor for fuck’s sake!
I shook my head and blinked several times, trying to keep the tears at bay. Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with me?
Get your shit together, Payne. I mentally scolded myself.
Her name is Carter. I smiled in spite of myself as I thought about her name.
It suited her. Out of all the names I had tried to picture her as having, none of them had been so lovely and fitting as Carter.
I couldn’t help but be a little bit giddy that she had thought about me too over the past couple months.
I could tell that she was putting on a façade of indifference, trying to act as though that night hadn’t changed the both of us, but I saw right through her act. She was scared.
Scared to be attached to someone, scared to have someone care because deep down in her heart that’s all she really wants.
Whereas I was the complete opposite. I wanted everyone currently in my life to leave me the hell alone. To care less so that I can make my own decisions – my own mistakes.
My entire life is controlled, my future determined by people who don’t know the first thing about me.
That’s why I went to Teller’s Bridge that night. Because I realized there is only one thing in my life that I can control:
Whether I live or die.
But then she had to come along and flip my whole world upside down. She was so feisty that night, so blunt – much like she was in the conversation we just had. She didn’t treat me special, and she told me how it was with no inhibitions.
But I know that’s only because she doesn’t know who I am. Or more specifically, who my father is.
Amy’s obnoxious voice cut through my thoughts and I looked up to see her standing by my red Ferrari. She threw her hands up in the air and gave me an annoyed look.
“Well are we going or not?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” I muttered, walking over to my car and fishing my keys out of my pocket.
Once we were both seated in my car, I pulled out of the parking lot of The Blue Eagle and began driving towards our apartment complex.
There was an awkward silence in the car as I continued to think about Carter and that night. Amy kept looking at me though.
“Well I assume you have questions.” She finally broke the silence.
Oh right, she’s pregnant.
“Oh, erm, yeah. Uh, how long have you known?” I asked in a sincere tone, trying to make it seem as though I was interested in her predicament.
Amy sighed dramatically and leaned her head back against the leather seat.
“About a week. I haven’t told my parents yet, Jeff will be furious.”