Tuesday, 11th October, 2011
So this is Andie’s reaction from when I told her about Gary and I taking a break:
AlexIsGay: You online?
AnDIE: What else would I be doing?
AlexIsGay: Homework? Chores? Spending magical quality time with your family?
AnDIE: Don’t make me sick. What’s up?
AlexIsGay: What makes you think anything is up?
AnDIE: I feel it in my booooooooones.
AnDIE: Cos I know you, loser. Tell me.
AlexIsGay: Gary and I temporarily broke up today.
AlexIsGay: This is why we’re friends. Because you are so supportive.
AnDIE: Sorry. Really. No but seriously. I’ve said it from the start, you can do so much better than that ass-wipe.
AlexIsGay: In this town?
AnDIE: Well, yeah. I know it’s not exactly teeming with homosexual talent, but there are some cute guys who are way nicer than Gary. Maybe no so good-looking, maybe not so smart, maybe not so nerve-wrackingly perfect all the time, but they’d sure as hell treat you a way better.
AlexIsGay: Always assuming that any of them would even be interested in me.
AnDIE: You can’t let fear of being alone drive you to stay with somebody who doesn’t deserve you.
AlexIsGay: This from the girl who will kiss anything with a penis if it shows interest in her.
AlexIsGay: Yeah, sorry, that needed an emoticon, didn’t it?
AnDIE: It did. Anyway, point is I’m just having fun. You know I’m not a relationship kind of girl, I don’t deal well with commitment. YOU, on the other hand, thrive on it, which is why I can settle for subpar and you can’t. You develop a sentimental attachment. I simply move along to the next penis-supporting organism. Like a sex-loving butterfly.
AlexIsGay: You should submit that to a poetry competition.
AnDIE: I just copied and pasted it into my About Me section on Facebook. Watch the Friend Requests roll in!
AlexIsGay: I love you :)
AnDIE: And I love you. Significantly more now that you’re single.
AlexIsGay: As a penis-supporting organism?
AnDIE: Oh yeah baby. Get in mah bed.
AlexIsGay: I’m learning some valuable lessons on how to attract men here. Please go on.
AnDIE: Shut up and goodnight.