copyright 2017 Chris Smith All rights reserved.
"How far must I fall, to find my salvation?"
Lucy, Mom's nurse, came by late morning to check on Mom. I was ready for her with battle gear on and everything. She wasn't going to catch me unaware. No way.
"I'm concerned about the swelling and coloring in her skin," Lucy said.
There were issues coming up in Mom's health. But they weren't all being resolved. The cancer taking ahold of her body was like a domino effect.
If there's a hundred fires burning at once, which one do you fight first?
You fight the most important one, assuming you can discern which one that is. You fight the one that poses the greatest danger. You fight the one you know you can win. And you start winning 'em, one by one, as you down the list.
I was more concerned about Mom drinking all her juice and taking her pills than I was about the color of her skin. I was more concerned about the state of her spirit and her heart and namely her fucking will to live, than I was about anything else.
So I nodded and took note of Lucy's observation. But I wouldn't budge on my opinion. I wouldn't budge on what the real war was. It was the one right in front of me.
Dad made another call into the Doc to get some input on therapies that would help Mom. The Doc told us to hold over her kidneys and adrenals several times a day.
Poor Dad was running on fumes almost every day.
"Why don't you take a nap up in my room?" I asked.
"Really?" Dad asked.
"Yeah. I'll stay down here and watch Mom," I said.
"Okay," Dad said.
I did a few Jane Fonda work-outs with Mom, which she always loved. Not. They were uncomfortable for her. But it was more uncomfortable for her to not move at all.
She was napping in and out while I ran around with my hair on fire catching up on the day's chores. I never seemed to get ahead of it. I never seemed to get ahead of anything these days. I woke up in a deficit. There was never enough time.
Three and half hours later Dad came back down stairs.
"I guess you were pretty tired huh?" I asked.
"Yeah. I guess so. The moment I lay down, I was out," Dad said.
"Hi Sweetheart," Dad said to Mom.
"Sweetheart," Mom replied with a big smile.
I watched him walk over to her and give her a hug and a kiss while she wrapped her arms around his neck. After all this time, they still loved each other so much. It was amazing. I loved watching them. I'd spent my entire life, watching their love. In the desperate times we found ourselves with Dad completely exhausted, and Mom battling Death itself, even now their love blossomed so beautifully.
I'd grown up surrounded by such an incredible standard of love. In many ways, they had set the bar so high. Over these past months caring for Mom, now that standard had been lifted higher. I didn't know if I would ever find anyone worthy of it. Someone who would run into Hell, to save me.
Attempt at Blood draw - Day 13
Days Juicing: 117
So we decided to see if we could get some blood work done to see how Mom's doing...scientifically. Not realizing her body is SO fragile and her veins hard to find. This is the second attempt, by a different nurse, to see about blood. The Nurse ended up getting a little bit...but we're unsure how much testing will be able to be done. We asked to have C-Reactive Protein, and ESR (aka Sed Rate) tested. Both are very important tests, especially for anyone dealing with serious health issues. And both WERE NOT TESTED by the "all knowing" hospital at either of Mom's two stays at the hospital. Guess they're not so smart after all. So, we'll see what we can see....from the blood.
Blood Pressure 84/48
Juice Day 117
4 leaves collard greens
½ cup dandelion greens
4 leaves napa cabbage
1 Fuji apple
1 tablespoon ginger root
3 small carrots
1 stalk of celery
1 Fuji apple
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A HARD RUN INTO HELL Book 4 (EDITING) is the juice worth the squeeze seriesNon-Fiction
I was standing in Hell, burning. I looked over to see my Dad, standing right next to me. He was burning too. We had brought my Mom home from the hospital and care facility, after being diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and decided not to do chemo, ag...