His Appointed Wife

24. Old Girlfriends and new wounds

I don't know why, but I will do everything and anything in my power, for you, to see you just smile. - Logan

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24. Old Girlfriends and new wounds

(Alexandra)

"Are you okay?" A voice asked, ripping through her foggy brain and pulled her out of her trance.

She jerked up in her seat as she heard him talk. She had totally forgotten she was with Leo, cooped up inside a car. She had forgotten that she wasn't alone, that she couldn't let her emotions out when she was in the presence of someone else. She forgot. All she could think about was them.

The blood red mug. The steaming coffee as smoke swirled out in a slow, seductive dance. Logan --her Logan. Stacy. His Stacy?

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the image from creeping inside her, from torturing her. From plaguing her with doubts and heart breaks. And grief.

What is he doing with her? Is he going back to her?

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe she was just imagining the worst case scenario, but it was there -- the doubt. The vines of doubts tangling around her heart, branching around her windpipe and crushing her. She couldn't breathe properly.

She wasn't naive or a romantic --she was a realist-- and she had always known that her love for him was homeless and hopeless, that it only had a murky, fuzzy future, or no future at all. But still...

Somewhere deep inside her crazy heart, there was a small ember of hope, burning, still alive. Still thrumming, hoping. Hoping for a miracle. Though the light of the ember was dim, it was light. It kept the darkness at bay. And then she saw them. Seeing him with Stacie was like a heavy downpour, fast and furious and the small ember flickered off. It was snuffed out by the man she loved so dearly, so hopelessly. Now, she could the ember dying, leaving her in the empty void of blackness.

Dark. So dark. So depressing.

I am not going to cry. She thought as she blinked her tears in. Swallowed the big lump of distress with brave face. Leo was still next to her and he was still waiting for her to answer him. She turned to him and gave him a fake, fake smile, which felt so wrong on her lips. So difficult.

"I am good." She lied through her teeth. She wasn't. She couldn't be good.

He gave her a doubtful look. "Are you sure? You look like you have just seen a ghost." He said as his concerned eyes searched her face.

Yes. A ghost. A Ghost of Logan's past. She had just seen it with him and only now, the ghost wasn't just his past. It was here. It was Present.

Stop. Maybe there is nothing between them. Maybe they ran into each other and were being civilized and grown up. Maybe it is nothing like this thing you are building up in your head. Give him the benefit of doubt.

"It is nothing." She said, hoping he wouldn't pester her, as Leo stopped the car in front of the massive grilled gate.

She pressed the remote for the gate and the door groaned open to reveal the majestic house sitting in the green lawn, dotted with crowns of colorful flowers. Logan's house. Artfully built, with the hands of an artist. His hands.

She had always thought it as her house from the moment she walked in and fell in love with the place, but today, today she couldn't call it hers. Not theirs. It was his. It had always been. She was an idiot to call it otherwise.

Stupid, stupid girl. Stupid of you to feel like this is your new home! It is NOT. It will never be. She thought as a deep frown marred her face.