CHAPTER 68 Everything Will Be Okay & Other Lies

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copyright 2017 Chris Smith  All rights reserved.

"So, Facebook asks me 'How's it going?'..

Uhhhh ... (INSERT CRICKETS SOUNDS) I'm too exhausted to respond accurately. I'd waiver between laughing hysterically ...and crying uncontrollably...or just sitting there with no expression what-so-ever, staring off into space."

@RantingsOfaGirl


I've spent most of life going from one shanty shack to another. I do not know what it feels like to live in a new home. Every home we've lived in had a history. And most of them were so poorly built it was a joke.

The home we were renting now is no different. It's being eaten alive by termites as we speak. For real. Our landlord was a friend from the same road where our Family Farm was. In fact, we lived about a 10 minute walk from our former Family Farm.

But it's no longer ours. Now it's just a piece of property that holds memories from my childhood. Now it's just fenced Earth. The entire energy of the property has changed since we left. They don't nurture wildlife there. They shut it out like an intruder.

We pass the new owners and renters on the road and we just smile and wave. I have no desire to know them. And they have no idea who I am. They don't know my history on that Earth and they never will.

God sure does have a sense of humor. I guess. Or we were put here, not two hundred yards away, for the sheer reminder of the life we couldn't save.

They tell you with a smile and a pat on the shoulder, "You'll be okay. Everything will work out."

Oh really?

Do you have a main line into the Big Guy or something?

I don't know if you're missing out on what's happening right now. But we're getting our asses kicked. So, you shouldn't say that shit unless you know.

People told us everything would be okay after the foreclosure. Or I should say foreclosures, plural. But here we are a few years later, and now Mom has cancer. So, no. Everything is decidedly not okay. In fact, from the foreclosures to this point before Mom got sick, everything was not okay. It wasn't but a skip and stone's throw ago we were returning beds to Costco so we could get the refund money and buy food.

We make do though. We make do and we make a way through. Whatever.

One of Dad's friends sent his repair guy up, at no cost to us, to our shanty shack to replace the toilet. There were a lot of repairs to the shanty shack we were living in, we did ourselves. We still owed back rent, because of our financial situation, so Dad didn't feel right going to our landlord with repairs.

Sometimes I was Dad's plumbing/general assistant assistant. Most of the time it was Mom. Boy, the two of the them working together was like watching oil and water. But Dad had learned that while Mom's brain was slightly far out, she came up with good ideas. Ideas that worked too which set Dad back on his heels. But you had to be ready, mind, body, spirit, to work with the firecracker that was my Mom.

Today though, Dad played assistant to the repair guy. We were getting a used toilet. But we didn't care. We were just happy at the prospect of not dealing with a toilet picky about flushing. When my Uncle Jeff had visited we warned him about the toilet having issues.

Uncle Jeff had come out of the bathroom saying, "I don't think an act of Congress could get it to flush!"

True! lol

While the repair guy was working, Lucy, Mom's nurse, arrived. So, let the battles begin. I didn't have a lot of time to fight with her.

I would smile, listen to her requests, and then say, "No."

I passed by Mom's bed doing chores. The repair guy and his new assistant, aka my Dad, were working on the toilet and Lucy was busy working on Mom. Mom looked up at me and gave me her little wave. She had this little signature wave she did now. Her hand would be steady but her fingers would move up and down, in a delayed synchronized wave. We called it "The Five Finger Wave".

I smiled. Some days it was the little things. A wave from Mom and everything was okay for a breath or two.


JANUARY 8

FLICKR

Skin Brushing - Day 8

Days Juicing: 112

Mom doesn't like it when I do this, but it's good for her skin. Comes from the Chinese, and it helps detox the lymph system. You buy a special brush, that looks like a back brush, but is made from special bristles, called a "skin brush". Ideally, you brush your skin, in a specific manner, in a specific order (I got instructions on how to do it from the book "The Complete Book of Chinese Health & Healing" by Daniel Reed). The only areas you don't brush are the groin, face, and obviously any wounds, sores, etc.

I've been brushing my skin for years, every day, and it's made my skin very soft. Good stuff.

I figure Mom needs all the help she can get, supporting her health and healing.


Juice Day 112

12 small carrots

2/3 beet

4 leaves collard greens

4 leaves napa cabbage

½ cup dandelion greens

½ pomegranate

1 Fuji apple


Mom's Juice

4 carrots

1 stalk of celery

1/3 beet

1 Fuji apple

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